Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Dress to Impress

Welcome to another edition of Wacky Wednesday folks. As we approach Valentine's Day, I think we can all agree that the guys usually get the shaft on this holiday. The poor dudes shell out the big bucks for roses, candy, dinnah, lingerie, jewelry etc. to make us chicks feel like the belle of the ball, while we are hard pressed just to buy them a card. I think the root of the problem is that no one evah had the balls to include males in this traditionally female centered romantic holiday. Until now.......

Ladies, if you want your man to dress to impress why not make a ballsy move and buy him the new penis tux?
Granted, not every Tom, Dick and Harry can pull off this deBONEaire style, but it's sure not a hard sell at a mere $29.95. Plus, it's one size fits all that stays in place around the shaft with the help of a comfortable band. So ladies, this Valentine's Day don't make the guys try so hard. Go ahead and hit one outta the ball park.


Story: Here

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Power Ball Fever

It's not only Wacky Wednesday folks, tonight is the biggest Power Ball drawing in history. WHOOP WHOOP! Sure hope you bought your tickets 'cause everybody wants to be the winnah. This is what dreams are made of. Ya know, like quittin' your dead end job, travelin' the world first class, buyin' a swanky mansion, summering in The Caribbean aboard a fancy schmancy yacht, and bein' generous with family, friends and charitable causes. Of course on Saturday when the jackpot was a mere $700 million or so, dreams were not that classy. They were more on the Charlie Sheen scale. Check this dude out:
Maybe if he wins the $1.5 billion tonight he can buy all of Las Vegas, and an entire drug cartel. Plus the Playboy mansion is for sale for a cool $200 million. The possibilities are endless!


Monday, January 11, 2016

What a CRAPtacular Day!

Another CRAPtacular Christmas Crap PAR-TAY is in the books baby! This marks the 11th year I have hosted this CRAPtastic event where you bring the crappiest gift you received all year and we exchange white elephant style. While some of the items really are hideous, it is true that one person's trash is another person's treasure. And one thang is for damn sure, there is SO much laughter hearing all the CRAPilicious ways in which people receive their crap, that this party will live on for many more years.
This year I got creative and wrote on the glasses.  Each one had a holiday theme which could be misconstrued as inappropriate such as: Ho; Nutcracker; Big Balls; Santa's Sack etc.
Ry Guy and I waiting for the guests to arrive. I found the crapping Santa shirt while cleaning out my deceased parents' drawers a few months ago.
A beautiful wreath.
My friend Joelle modeling the fabulous Santa Snuggie. I had to steal that treasure from another bitch, but that sucker is now mine baby!
This is my favorite photo! How funny is my friend Robin's face as she sits on the new vibrating pillow.
The cream of the crap!
So, I didn't just find the crapping Santa shirt when I was cleaning out my parents' drawers. Yep, I found three magazines of 60's vintage hippie porn. The poor woman who opened that CRAPtacular gift looked a bit shell shocked.
The after party crowd.

Monday, January 4, 2016

New Year, New Theme

How many of you are hittin' the gym today in a quest for those six pack abs? Or maybe you are cuttin' up your credit cards in an attempt to balance your budget. Perhaps you are tryin' to forgive your enemies for their misdeeds so you can have peace in your life. Whatever your New Year's resolution may be, I hope you go after it with gusto! As many of you know, for the past five years or so, I started making themes for the New Year instead of a specific resolution, because they really work for me. Call me crazy, but if you choose a subject that you need or want to work on and meditate on that theme throughout the year you are more likely to have success because it's not one huge goal, but more of a shift in the way you think. When you think a certain way, you set about doing things. There's my free therapy for ya in the New Year folks.
 
So, as we turn over the calendar, I decided to simplify my life and get rid of daily junk and clutter.  I want to weed out people and things that don't add any value or joy to my life. I started with email. Truly I receive about 100 emails a day. For every one that comes in that I don't need, I scroll through and hit the unsubscribe button. I no longer share my email address at stores. I have already unfollowed or defriended folks on FaceBook who are argumentative, who constantly post political rants, or who are just plain bad for my mental health for whatever reason. It really is freeing and feels like spring cleaning.
 
Now that y'all know the premise, here's my theme for the New Year:
 
Goin' Lean, Stayin' a bit Mean
Unleashin' my Inner Queen
in Twenty Sixteen!
 
Wishing all of you a very healthy and happy New Year. And, if you set a resolution for 2016, I wish you great success in reaching your goal.