Monday, September 19, 2016

Redneck Red Carpet Recap

The Emmys were last night folks, and even though I couldn't watch the actual show 'cause I would rather poke a stick in my eye than see the ultra annoying Jimmy Kimmel, I did check out the stars arriving on the red carpet. My award for the most grounded, least entitled, and enthusiastic of all invitees goes to the child actors of Stranger Things. Wow, they were most impressive in their interview. Now on to the fun shall we.
Tracee Ellis Ross is a vision in white.
I see how Mandy Moore started to peel the layers of her dress away like an orange.
Jil Soloway channeling her best David Arquette.
She dropped 'em red in this number!
DANG let's hope Kristen Bell didn't get Lost in the Garden of Eden.
Leave it to Kerry Washington to make pregnancy look stylish and sleek.
There should be lemon laws against this.
So sad that Sarah Paulson had to wear pond scum. But, she did win the Emmy for prosecuting that scum OJ Simpson so it ain't all bad.
Sarah Hyland looks like a live version of a cocktail table.
If I wore this, I would be pissed too!
Images: Here and Here 


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Taco Tuesday Theory

It's Tuesday, and it's dinner time, and that means Taco Tuesday right? Very true, but it's also time to test out a little theory that's been eatin' at me for quite awhile. Do tacos have a direct correlation to sex? Maybe y'all can put on a sombrero, pour yourself a margarita, and help a girl out by taking the test and letting me know.
So here's the thing. In my most unscientific method, I asked a bunch of men and women if they preferred hard or soft tacos. The results were overwhelming. Guys like 'em soft and chicks dig the hard ones. And just in case someone thinks I'm not bein' PC, yes, I did include gay and straight folks in my unofficial survey. 
Women apparently realize length is not what matters in their taco. Just look at how thick that hard shell is stuffed! Girth is where it's at baby!
Guys on the other hand stuff their meat into a soft shell wrap and like it all nice and tight.
And what does it say about someone who enjoys eating those hard and soft shell combinations?

Y'all see the connection here right? I can't believe Taco Hell and Chipotle haven't picked up on this idea yet. The marketing companies could have a fiesta with this. Sex sells! Now someone just needs to test out whether folks who prefer spicy sauce are chandelier swingin' wild and crazy in the bedroom, while those who like mild sauce are Saturday night missionary style only.

Dang, now it's Taco Tuesday and I'm hungry and horny. OLE.

Images via Google Images