Friday, August 19, 2016

Ryan Lochte Rap

I seriously tried for hours to make a rap video, but I failed miserably. My family members (bless their heart) tried in vain to help, but I was hopeless 'cause white chicks simply can't rap. Apparently I can write lyrics, but I can't spit 'em. However, you can use your imagination and put these lyrics to Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby."

Stop, Collaborate and Listen
Ryan Lochte in the bathroom pissin'
A security guard he be dissin'
All his medals he might be missin'
Ryan with your hair so white
Word on the street you got in a fight
Not with muggers as you claim
But with yourself, what a shame
Lies, Lies, Baby
Lies, Lies, Baby
Ain't no doubt when you in dat pool
You a winnah and you really rule
But you makin' up stories and that ain't cool
'Cause now you look like a big ol' tool
Come on dude whatcha be thinkin'?
You lose your morals after a night of drinkin'?
There ain't no shame in gettin' drunk
But that don't mean you can act like a punk
Lie, Lies, Baby
Lies, Lies, Baby
You represent America in this Olympic game
Instead of glory you bring home shame
You won those medals made of gold
Now you in trouble 'cause of the lies you told
You lied to your mother!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Trumped by the Crowd

Hey folks, if you ever have the opportunity to attend a presidential political rally, one thang is for sure, it ain't boring! Despite your personal beliefs, you can have a great time no matter if you are on the left, right, or some where in the middle. Yesterday, Donald Trump visited little ol' Wilmington, NC. Even though my friends and I had tickets, the fire marshal denied entry to us and about a thousand others 'cause the joint was too packed. Not to worry, 'cause we had a blast outside and made the most of the situation.

Here's my top 10 reasons why you should attend a political rally:
1. The entertainment is free.
2. You meet some nice and interesting people while standing in line for hours.
3. Suddenly you appreciate having friends and supporters in this world. No one wants to stand alone.
4. When you realize you are as orange as The Donald ya know ya gotta start makin' some changes!
5. Ya gotta respect the creativity of the protestors.
6. Friends on the inside with a bird's eye view will hook you up with pics.
7. If you are real lucky, you might spot Clark Kent in the crowd.
8. The enthusiasm of our youth is encouraging.
9. You can get excellent photo ops of all VIP's at the exits.
10. Standing outside in 100% humidity for over 3 hours allows you to fit into your skinniest jeans for at least 2 days without having to do a nasty cleanse.
Photo credits to Sue Gallagher and Preston Lennon.



Friday, August 5, 2016

New Venture

Ok folks, I know I've been a lazy blogger and you prolly think I've been loungin' on a yacht in the south of France. Obviously I have in my dreams. But in reality I have been havin' so much fun over at my new Deb Church FaceBook author page. I never thought I would do it, but I have been posting videos of all sorts of things from Pok√©mon Go, The Bachelorette, a Bug Zapper, to my favorite college football team WVU. If you are an old timer like me, and actually use FaceBook, you can click on the FaceBook icon on the margin of my blog which will take you to my new page.

Anywho, I am gonna try to blog about twice a month, while I get my author page crankin'. Ya know when ya feel somethin' ya just gotta go with it. This is what I'm feelin' right now. Hope to see ya there 'cause my mind is workin' overtime on some crazy ass video ideas! Who knows, maybe a Youtube channel is in my future?

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Time Flies When You're Havin' Fun

The Big 3-0. Dirty Thirty. Either way you look at it, it's a long time to be married, and somethin' to be damn proud of these days. I seriously don't know where the time went, but I know I had a whole lotta fun along the way. Ya know, even on our wedding night, we laughed so much about all the crazy shenanigans that happened at the ceremony and reception. And, our lives have been filled with laughter ever since, even under trying circumstances. So, when people ask me about the secret to a successful marriage, the first thing I think of is sharing a sense of humor with your partner.
On Saturday evening, Uncle Jeffy's fabulous team of coworkers hosted a special night for him to celebrate his 20th year in medical practice. How about this hilarious key lime pie? In case you can't read it, it says, "30 years wedded bliss/20 years classy tits." Gotta love those plastic surgery jokes!

Since today is such a milestone anniversary, we are crackin' open a special bottle of wine tonight, as opposed to our usual bottle of grocery store crap. Then maybe, just maybe, we should start thinkin' of replacing this outdoor table as a present to each other: