Monday, February 29, 2016

Redneck Red Carpet Recap

So the Oscars were last night, and even though the fashions were not quite as outrageous as the Grammys, there were still some winners and losers in my humble redneck opinion. And it's times like these when Joan Rivers is sorely missed 'cause she would have straight up told her fashion police cohost Giuliana Rancic to tone down that spray tan baby 'cause blacks were boycotting the Oscars this year.
Well at least there was some racial diversity on the red carpet.
And the Oscar goes to Cate Blanchett for showing us that the applique is A- OK!
Kerry Washington's scandalous leather number should be reserved for her TV character.
Brie Larson is a wave of beauty.
A modern day matador pretending to be Jared Leto.
Olivia Wilde was one sneeze away from the wardrobe malfunction award.
Charlize Theron is drop red gorgeous!
Ok Amy I'll have the moo goo gai pan.
Heidi should take her flower power to a garden party.
Can someone please buy poor Saoirse Ronan a pair of boobs to hold up this dress?
Costume designer Sandy Powell wins for best reincarnation of David Bowie.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

37 comments:

  1. Heidi kinda looks like she showed up as the cougar date for prom

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  2. That last one is just freaky.
    What about biker woman who won an award for Mad Max: Fury Road?

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    1. Dang, I missed the biker chick. I have to confess I only watched 30 minutes of the actual show because of the racial rampage of Chris Rock and the political platforms used in the speeches.

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  3. Kerry looks ready to get the whip. The last is a bit scary indeed.

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    1. I wonder if that belt thing doubles as a whip? I seriously thought that last person WAS David Bowie.

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  4. Great insights, thanks for catching me up. I refuse to watch awards shows where celebrities pat each other on the back...

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    1. It was the worst one this year because of all the racial rants and political crap.

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  5. I just cannot understand dresses like Olivia and Charlize. The amount of tape needed to keep everything in just the right place... And really, is the droopy booby what you want people to remember about you?
    Amy baffles me.
    Brie is awesome.

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    1. The thought of tape failure would have me sweating thru my Spanx.

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  6. I always love your recaps, and your comment about Olivia is priceless. WTF?! She looks horrible! And what's with all the anorexic arms this year? If I had arms that boney, I'd be covering them up. That's embarrassing. Somebody feed those girls!

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    1. Seriously, Giuliana looks like you could snap her in half.

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  7. I liked Saoirse's dress only from front, not from behind. So many extreme cleavages this year! I kinda hated what Winslet was wearing, something very plastic, but it seems she is pregnant. There were so many prego ladies, from her to Krissy Teigen and Emily Blunt.

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    1. Poor Kate! I did hate her dress, but I love her so I didn't post that one. Yep, preggos were the new black this year.

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  8. The thing I'm sick of, and I don't care how freakin gorgeous Charlize is, is stop sticking your bloody boobs out!!!!!!

    I'm sick of big boobs, no boobs, side boob, flat chested lack of boob boob, all of it. We know these people are gorgeous we don't need to see your boobs, or lack there of.

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    1. Everybody takin' the plunge. Just go topless for Gawd's sake.

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  9. What the hell was Olivia thinking? And Amy? Oh...what has been seen cannot be unseen.

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  10. Love your picks and your comments. Heidi's dress reminds me of the worst bridemaid's dress ever...in the 1970s.

    Olivia Wilde's dress was named one of the best on the Today show. UGH.

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  11. Lmfao at that Giuliana joke! I feel like she's trying way too hard. And Heidi, seriously wtf was she thinking? Charlize was by far the best pick!

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  12. I don't know who most of these chickies are.

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