Monday, August 3, 2015

Budding Romance

When my friend Denise sent me this story and said it was blog material, she wasn't just blowin' smoke! I did a little checkin' to weed out the truth, and dang, I don't believe it's a hoax. Seems as if Nancy Hoggert of Washington created quite a buzz by claiming to be in a sexual relationship with Bigfoot. She first encountered the beast in 2008 while tending to her "marijuana grow". Apparently they started off on the wrong foot 'cause Bigfoot was standin' there eatin' all the buds off her plants, so she pointed her shot gun at him. But you know what they say, "big hands, big feet.......". Yeppers, he had a big ol' erection, took her from behind, and since she had not had any action in awhile said it felt great. Their relationship blossomed from smokin' hot sex into a deep love.

This ain't all smoke and mirrors folks, 'cause Hoggert says Bigfoot is very sweet and caring and brings her flowers and mushrooms. The only downside is that he doesn't speak English. So, she nipped it in the bud and taught him how to say her name. Now don't take a pot shot at the poor guy for mispronouncing it "Nunnnsay". At least he's putting his best foot forward.

The couple are trying to get preggers, but currently no luck. Hoggert is going to put her foot down once she gets knocked up 'cause she wants to live a quiet, domesticated life in her house makin' food in her new crock pot. Even though Bigfoot loves living in the forest, she can no longer foot the bill to commute three hours to be with her man. They are gonna set up a joint bank account, listen to the Doobie Brothers, and be best buds for life.

Of course where there's smoke, there's fire right? Since marijuana is legal now in Washington State, Hoggert says she has no source of income. Instead, she wants to stir the pot and capitalize off her boyfriend's fame by selling his pictures and samples of his fur on a website she plans to set up. There's just got to be a pot-o-gold in that plan!

 I have every confidence this relationship is gonna grow like a weed. It would be a total buzz kill to think otherwise. I mean seriously, can you imagine after the smoke clears from a breakup and dealin' with joint custody of a half human, half Bigfoot baby? Lawd, that would just get my nose outta joint!

Story: Here

34 comments:

  1. He'll probably sue her for taking advantage of him and selling his body parts on eBay.
    Wow, I'm so glad that stuff isn't legal in our state!

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    1. We should all be so lucky to have our body parts being sold on eBay.

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  2. I wonder what kind of shrooms he fed his lass with? Crazy shrooms? But who are we to stand against their romance...

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    1. That's right. Shrooms and true love is where it's at!

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    2. You reckon his third foot is hairy as well? Maybe she likes them hairy :)

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  3. It all started with the pot... ;-)

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  4. So, drugs don't do any good do they ;)?

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    1. Sounds like drugs found her a good boyfriend. LOL

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  6. A clear case of pot killing brain cells as she weeded and sampled her own garden.

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  7. She's going to feel really stupid when she realizes it's just some fat hairy guy getting his rocks off every time she gets high.

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    1. Then she will have put her big foot in her mouth. hahaha

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  8. I actually got a buzz just reading this post :)

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  9. There are actually novellas about interracial sexual antics with bigfoots, or is that bigfeets...

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  10. Like they say: there's someone for everyone

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  11. I will let my neighbor know. When we moved here, we were told that our neighbor is scared to death that Bigfoot is going to get him. He has a fence and cameras up on the side near the railroad tracks. If Bigfoot is in love, my neighbor doesn't need to worry anymore! I'm sure he'll be relieved to hear it.

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  12. Doesn't this fall under the law/category as bestiality?

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  13. Wow!!!! I guess go big or go home. Hahahaha a little tip for our friend in the story, when you are sleeping with a celebrity, you don't tell the press!

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