Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Questions, Questions?

It's Wacky Wednesday time and today I'm posing simple questions to you dedicated readers on two news stories that have been plastered just 'bout everywhere. First we have this lovey young lass from Georgia who assaulted her boyfriend 'cause he refused to have sex with her:
Because she was upset over not gettin' any, she went out drinkin' and came home and told her boyfriend "she fucked everyone else because he would not fuck her". Then she proceeded to assault him and her mother and threatened to kill the cops with a baby stroller. I'm tellin' ya folks female hormones be ragin'.  In the boyfriend's defense, he did tell the cops that he had already "self-pleasured" himself earlier in the day and had "no more gas in the tank". Despite her obvious meth mouth, my question is very simple. Why wouldn't he have sex with her? I thought all dudes without a medical problem were just ready to bang it out anytime. Help me out here gentlemen.
Then we have Jared, the famous Subway spokesman, whose home was just raided on suspicion of child porn. You remember this guy who lost like 200 el bees from eatin' Subway subs and walking. The feds previously arrested the executive director of his foundation to combat childhood obesity on kiddie porn charges, but they were at Jared's house yesterday taking electronics out of his home. Even Subway is keepin' a footlong distance from Jared by suspending their partnership pending the investigation. Dang, could the king of the 6 inch have visions of putting his salami in a young bun? What do you think?

Story: Here and Here


34 comments:

  1. Hopefully he's not connected, but there is a good chance Jared isn't involved in that mess. He's the one who told Subway that they should distance themselves until it's over.
    As for that... woman. I would feel like I was doing a beaver or woodchuck with those teeth! So no way. Most of us have standards when it comes to women. Pulse really isn't optional.

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    1. I guess the jury is still out on Jared. And I am dying laughing on your beaver comment!!!

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  2. Yeah, not even so drunk I couldn't move would I go near her. She looks like some creature off of Supernatural. Peru fat sucker?

    Hopefully Jared isn't a sicko.

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    1. Although I don't know what a Peru fat sucker is, it sounds dangerously interesting.

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  3. I'd be afraid my blood would be sucked being around her

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  4. I dunno...but that woman looks pretty scary! Everyone has their limits.

    It would be awful if Jared was part of that sick mess.

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    1. I guess her boyfriend reached his limits that day.

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  5. All I can do is shake my head, crazy world we live in indeed.

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  6. I don't know why I care but I hope Jared is innocent. If he IS innocent I would sue TMZ so hard for defamation of character. I think they were the first people to post yesterday about him.
    I really want to run to the bathroom right now and brush my teeth this very second.

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    1. I don't know how I feel about Jared but I sure have been brushing my teeth extra good these days!

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  7. Are you sure that woman can go out in the daylight? I'd be scared of being bitten.

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  8. I knew it wouldn't take long for Subway to distance themselves from Jared.

    Maybe Jared needs Mike Huckabee to defend his honor like he did for Josh Duggar.

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  9. we can only guess that her boyfriend ain't perdy either... kinda like Moma June and her Sugar Bear....

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  10. News, like the story of the Georgia Peach (I hope she lives on the other side of this state) makes it harder and harder to write creative fiction because the real is so much richer

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  11. I currently live under a big rock and didn't know about these 'news' stories.

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