Seriously, just like Mr. Wonka was givin' out golden tickets to tour his heavenly chocolate factory, Tito and Amanda Watts were sellin' golden tickets to heaven for $99.99 each. All ya had to do was present the golden ticket at the pearly gates and you were in, just like presentin' that coveted ticket at the entrance to Mr. Wonka's chocolate factory. Tito got the tickets behind the KFC from Jesus. He also met an alien named Stevie, who said if he got the cash together he would take him and his wife on a spaceship to a planet made entirely of crack cocaine. Tell me that doesn't sound exactly like somethin' Mr. Slugworth would do! And right now who isn't picturin' Charlie, Grandpa Joe and Mr. Wonka in the Wonkavator when they press the "up and out button", break through the factory, and tour all over the city? The similarities between these stories are simply amazing!
Tito and Amanda Watts
When the law dogs arrested the couple they confiscated over 10 grand in cash, 5 crack pipes, and a baby alligator. Jaysus, the Watts are addicted to drugs just like that gluttonous Augustus was addicted to food. Sadly, they both drowned in their addictions. Poor Augustus couldn't keep his fat ass outta the chocolate river, and I guess this couple went down in the swamp to get their pet alligator.