Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Baby Maker

It's Wacky Wednesday folks comin' to ya by rhyme.
The story of a woman who should be on the cover of Time.
She's a 65 year old granny who just gave birth.
To not just one, but quadruplets for what it's worth.
She already has 13 kids to 5 different men.
But her 9 year old begged her to do it all again.
In Germany the doctors were all doom and gloom.
It's illegal there to implant embryos in her womb.
So she went to the Ukraine one fine day.
Had fertility treatments and she was on her way.
This is definitely a debate of "can and should"
Dang, this lady is the little engine that could.
At her age most folks are ready to kick their young'uns out the door.
But she goes ahead and pushes out four more.
Her grandkids are older than the ones she just popped out.
Now that's somethin' not too many people can tout.
She has strength and stamina that's for sure.
And gonna need diapers and baby wipes galore!
What do you think you will be doin' at 65?
Hell, I doubt I'll even be alive!
I won't be birthin' no babies I can tell ya that!
'Cause for me the empty nester lifestyle is where it's at.
But to each his own is so very true.
May she enjoy pretty in pink and baby blue!
Story: Here

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Top 10 Things To Do When Your Town is Taken Over By Tourists

I'm very fortunate to live in a town that boasts a few beautiful beaches nearby. Wilmington, North Cackalacky has grown tremendously over the past 20 years, but there are issues with traffic on a daily basis 'cause there ain't no where to expand on a peninsula. However, the first weekend of summah brings an entirely new set of problems 'cause now the tourists flock into the region. Our little ol' community goes from this:
to this almost over night:
And yes, tourism is a decent industry here, but for those of us not in that business, daily life can become quite cumbersome. So, here's my top 10 list of thangs to do to stay outta the madness:

10. Netflix can become your BFF: Uncle Jeffy caught up on Orange is the New Black this weekend in anticipation of Season 3 coming out real soon. And, we were the last people on earth to finally see Fifty Shades of Grey (on pay per view).

9.  Go to a local farmers market: fresh fruits and veggies are plentiful this time of year and tourists usually have no interest in shopping there. They go to the big super markets to stock up on all of their supplies.

8. Bowling: ya got the lanes to yourself, which is more than I can say for any of the roads.

7. On Line Shopping: Get all the great Memorial Day sales without having to fight your way through the crowds in the stores and dealing with the traffic getting there. A double bonus!

6. Dine at only local restaurants: the food and service are always much better than any of those touristy establishments.

5. Jam to some live music: it's summah time, so local bars, parks, festivals etc. are always advertising some sort of live entertainment.

4. Fire up the grill: tis the season for grillin' and chillin'.

3. Go to the movies: I went to see Pitch Perfect 2 this weekend and had the theatre practically to myself. It was an absolute riot by the way!

2. Attend a minor league sporting event: whether it's baseball or soccer, it's cheap and fun. Plus, the athletes appreciate every single person filling the seats!

1. Maximize your down time:

Monday, May 18, 2015

Calling All Pregnant Moms

I have a gut feelin' that some folks ain't gonna believe there's a ring of truth to this story outta Jordan, but according to the Gulf News, a 36 year old woman underwent a normal C-section last month and she and the baby went home all fine and dandy. But when her stomach started vibrating and she experienced stomach pains she went back to the hospital where an x-ray showed the gynecologist left his cell phone inside her stomach. I guess he was tryin' to take pics with a ring side seat huh? What a gutsy move on his part!

But what I'm wonderin' with this whole gut wrenching story, is whether the surgeon knew he left the cell phone inside the poor woman and didn't have the guts to admit it until she felt the ring tones? It is really hard to stomach, but do ya think there were tons of roaming charges? Can you hear me now? HEEELLLLOOOO, can you hear me now? Seriously, there could not have been good reception down in the gut.

So I'm thinkin' if any pregnant Moms out there don't wanna sign up for those pesky cell phone contracts, and have the intestinal fortitude to do so, they should give this dude a ringy dingy before the powers at be have a serious conference call about the state of his medical license and he has to resort to makin' collect calls. A free cell phone with a baby ain't such a bad deal. Just think, you can give the term "belly button ring" a whole new meaning!

Thanks Joelle for hookin' me up with this awesome story. Aren't you glad the only calls we need to worry about now are calls of nature?

Story: Here

Friday, May 15, 2015

Feel Good Friday

In honor of the Greek Festival here in Wilmington this weekend, ya gotta go Greek with some Stavros Flatley! OPA!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Kicked in the Balls

It's Wacky Wednesday time folks and I know it takes balls to even mention pretty boy 'cause it gets everybody's balls in an uproar. Yea it seems like Tommy Boy got kicked in the balls the other day:
But ya gotta remember the wise words of Pete Rose who caught some serious curve balls:

And let's not forget that former team mates who rubbed the same balls still got each other's backs:
Of course there are some people whose balls are against the wall:
But at the end of the day, even though Tom got his balls busted for bein' a cheater, he still won four Super Bowls:

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Don't Stop Believin'

 I'm gonna let y'all in on a little secret. For the past year I've had an idea for a book. It's not a traditional book per se because it's not a novel, it's not a memoir, it's not nonfiction, and it's not a self-help book. Actually it's kind of a hybrid. Y'all know how my weird and wacky mind works!

 I wrote 365 daily "tidbits", one for each day of the year. Some are a mere sentence in length, while others are a paragraph. Most are adult humor, some are inspirational messages with a redneck twist, and there's even a sprinkling of helpful household hints. When I pitched the idea to my fabulous pink ladies book club, they thought it was awesome, as did the short list of other friends who I let in on my little secret. Now I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday, so I realize my friends love me and are being supportive no matter how much my idea sucks. Seriously, what the hell do I know about writing a book?

So, I set about doin' some research 'cause I thought that's what any reasonably prudent person would do. And lemme tell ya, nobody likes rejection no matter what form it takes. I had some folks tell me I need to take serious writing classes before I can even start writing a book. A New York Times Best Selling Author crushed my soul by sayin' my blog just wasn't funny. Some big wig consultant insinuated that my platform was not near big enough yet to market a book, and even a couple of self publishers didn't think my book idea quite fit the normal mold they were used to so they just blew me off. I will admit I was about ready to throw in the towel. But, somethin' inside me just kept sayin', "ya gotta do this girl, 'cause it's SO you, and it's gonna put a smile on people's faces who are in need of a pick me up". I knew it wasn't for everybody, but for the discriminating readers who like to keep it real, they are gonna get a kick outta some of this crazy shit that comes to my mind.

Well, you know me folks. I ain't shy and I just keep on pluggin' along. And I'll be damned if someone not only believes in my manuscript, but actually said, "I relate to your sense of humor, I find you completely unique, your style and manuscript is new and different for the market, and I want to publish your book". WHOOP WHOOP! Then he said, "this is the tidbit that really got me because I actually thought this myself about this same song":

       Ok, you know you have done this. You sing the words loud and proud to a song only to have someone tell you they are not really the words. For over a decade I had been singing “Don’t Fear the Reefer” and told Uncle Jeffy that song was the biggest pot head song EVAH. After he finished laughing his ass off, he told me not only did the song have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana but the lyrics were actually, “Don’t Fear the Reaper”. Oh yea, that’s what I meant all along!

So folks if all goes according to plan, Deb's Daily Drivel  will be available at a bookstore near you in late fall as a coffee table book. Of course it will be in ebook form as well. Hopefully just in time for Christmas. So, the moral of my story today is Don't Stop Believin'. When ya get shot down, the person who pulled the trigger might not be the right person for you. Keep believin' in yourself, and who knows, you might even be able to call the shots!



Monday, May 4, 2015

Return of the Vampire

I can't believe I will be catching a 5am flight tomorrow morning to Columbus, Ohio to pack up my college freshman for the summer. It seems like we just packed up all of his earthly belongings and drove him 12 hours from home to attend his dream school. But an entire academic year has passed. And what a learning experience it has been for our family of four to adjust to being a family of just three.

As I watch my friend's children graduate from high school this year and prepare to go off to the college of their choice it makes my heart so happy. I know first hand the hard work and dedication it takes as a family to get to that point. There are so many mixed emotions this time of year. Feelings of pride that your child is graduating, but also feelings of sadness that your young'un is leavin' the nest. How will they navigate that big world without you, or worse yet, what if they do and think they don't need you any more?No matter how many college preparedness books you read on the subject, nuthin' really prepares you for it like talking to your parenting mentors who have been there done that. I have a few mentors on stand by who have been extremely helpful in guiding me through this difficult transition.
When my son Conner (2nd from left making the "H") came home for spring break he brought three college friends with him who rarely get to go to the beach. That's one advantage of having an out of state room mate from North Cackalacky huh? Those kids had a great time and they will all be living within a few blocks of each other next year. Gotta love those life long friendships you make in college.

So, to any of you who are spending your last summer with your high school student, my words of wisdom are to enjoy them now while they are still human. College turns them into vampires. They stay up until the wee hours of the morning and roll out of bed about mid day. Eating habits become sporadic and they don't get motivated until dusk. So I will see y'all next week 'cause I'm in anti-vampire mode 'round these parts. I got me lots of garlic, some holy water, and I'm lettin' the sunshine in baby. If I'm lucky, maybe my college kid will show some signs of bein' human a few days this summer.