Monday, April 13, 2015

Head of the Class

When several friends sent me this cock and bull story and said they thought about me when they read it, I just knew I could get off to a head start and bring you folks the loooooong version.  So there's Micha Stunz, a German man, who had the cockamamie idea to enlarge his penis with silicone injections so that it is now 9 inches long, and weighs between 7.5 and 9.5 pounds. This dickhead can't say exactly how much his unit weighs because his kitchen scale only goes up to 6.6 pounds and it has weighed more than that for awhile. Isn't that a ball buster!

Sadly, the silicone injections provide no physical pleasure and actually make sex more difficult. Mr. Dick for Brains can not even get a normal erection because of all the silicone, but he does streeeeeeetch his imagination and become more creative in the bedroom. Lawd, sure hope he nevah gets blue balls 'cause that would be one for the history books!
But, Mr. Stunz is not cocky about bein' the head of the class because he says he's actually quite shy and he prefers to hide his bulge with his satchel in public. He also does not dick around and prefers not to tell people about bein' so pumped up. He wants people to love him for him, rather than his love muscle.
However, I'm not stretchin' the truth when I tell ya that Micha is certainly the cock of the walk here at a bondage and fetish festival in Berlin, the one place where he says you can offer up who you are and not worry what others think of you. Now I know all of you dudes have serious penis envy after seein' that pic!

So I was thinkin' if this heavy weight ever got the shaft and his balls were to the wall, could he use his dipstick to his advantage? And dang, the possibilities are endless. He has his own built in kickstand when riding a bike, his own anchor while out boating, his own bat for a pick up game of baseball, his own croquet mallet for a garden party, his own 10 pound bowling ball, his own nutcracker at Christmas and his own sledgehammer. Now that's a ball breaker!

Story: Here







25 comments:

  1. I caints nevah unnastans how come whyte boyz jux caint be happies wit what thay ain'ts gox, I means, yall all caints be like me, evah yall see dat movies black snake moan, you be knowin what I gox. Sides, whyte womans caint take all a black mans gox no how. Woo wee I luvs me some whyte womans.

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  2. The sheer amount of dick jokes in this post is just inspiring. You really went balls out on this one.

    Also, call me crazy, but I'd rather have a dick I can use than one that makes me look like a toddler with a full diaper, but I guess that's just me.

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    1. 'Dick.'
      Such a fun little word which makes me giggle.
      Like 'tits.'

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  3. Damn, that is just all kinds of wrong. What can you do with it? Use it as a floatation device? He sure dicked around

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  4. KITCHEN scale!!??
    Great Googli Moogli, I hope they don't use that thing to prepare food anymore.
    Maybe sausage...

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    1. It's funny that you mention the kitchen scale Al because I actually found that part of the article the funniest too. Imagine him droppin' his pants in the kitchen and weighin' his sausage on that thang?

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  5. Yeah, um, nine inches is not that long and wouldn't require such a big cod piece. I think that thing is full of something else.

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  6. I just...I can't...yeah, nope. I got nuttin. ;)

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  7. Did he catch something from the injections?

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  8. I'm glad his plan backfired

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  9. now that is quite a sausage.... I wonder if he ever has sex... I mean the real thing... you know what me means....

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  10. Omg...that sounds like a job having to carry that thing around all day. Hahahaha

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  11. Dang, what a huge dick with a huge dick. I wonder if he needs to pay for a second seat on an airplane.

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  12. What is so wrong with men and women that they think enlarging sex organs is going to make them better at everything. All it's going to give him is horrendous lower back pain having to cart it around.

    What a dick!

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