Some Indian giver even had the nerve to ask for Mr. Cowboy back. I'm cat fightin' that bitch for him!
They must have gotten their drunk on before they came on over.
How 'bout that gem?
So, after a good laugh I had a Debosa breakfast with friends, got my hair did by my beautiful and talented hairstylist, and then it was off to the PAR-TAY. The crowd was amazing and I was very impressed that so many people showed up on a weeknight during this busy holiday season. In lieu of presents I asked for people to either give me their favorite picture or written memory of me to be placed in a keepsake album. WOW, to read what people think about you while you are still alive is so touching. I was boo hooing all day yesterday. Even though I asked for no presents, I got some damn good swag!!! A bon-bon lady even came and sang me a really cool personalized telegram. For a toast, I wrote this little diddy and entertained the folks in attendance:
I was born waaaaay back in the year 1963
Some of you young’uns probably think my Mama had to squat by a tree
I couldn’t imagine bein’ old when I was a young tyke
So I’m here to tell ya, this is what 50 looks like
Wrinkles would cover my face like a prune if it wasn’t for the beauty of Botox
And every single month I get full grey coverage with professional Clorox
Just getting up from a chair causes me to hurt
Probably because I’m old as dirt
When you tell someone your age, they all want to take a jab
Like going to the gym is no longer working out, it’s called rehab
When I take off my bra my tits fall down to my waist
Oh well, at least I’ve always had good taste
‘Cause the best thing I ever did was marry a guy named Jeff
After livin’ with me the poor dude has gone deaf
My biggest regret is waitin’ so long and I still don’t have an empty nest
Whew, anybody my age will tell ya that puts your mind to the test
But don’t worry about me folks ‘cause I ain’t got no tears
I’ve done a lot of damn good livin’ in these 50 years
It’s so awesome to have friends like all of you
And you all know I like very, very few
By now I’ve earned the right to flip assholes the bird
Really, I don't need to say another word
As I look back on my life I think its been better than just plain old nifty
So everybody raise your glass, ‘cause today I’m fucking fifty!
As the group thinned out, my gorgeous friend Heather taught me some classic Tina Turner moves to "Proud Mary". I'm quite sure the bald dude at the bar had some amazing dreams about Heather shakin' her money maker! I did attempt to twerk with the uber talented Hot Tamale but I was no match for her. And of course no birthday celebration would be complete without gettin' liquored up and dancin' with your man to your college theme song. "Take Me Home Country Roads" Baby: