Friday, December 13, 2013

A Good Time Was Had By All

I survived my big 50th birthday bash, and I'm here to tell ya, I have the BEST friends on the planet!!! The day started before sunrise with Uncle Jeffey goin' out to his car for work and findin' our house TP'd and full of crap in the front yard. Some crazy chicks put tacky Christmas shit all over the lawn and lined our driveway with empty wine bottles. They were nice enough to put balloons all over the place to at least give the joint a festive flare. Check out the scene of the crime:
Some Indian giver even had the nerve to ask for Mr. Cowboy back. I'm cat fightin' that bitch for him!
They must have gotten their drunk on before they came on over.
How 'bout that gem?
 
So, after a good laugh I had a Debosa breakfast with friends, got my hair did by my beautiful and talented hairstylist, and then it was off to the PAR-TAY. The crowd was amazing and I was very impressed that so many people showed up on a weeknight during this busy holiday season. In lieu of presents I asked for people to either give me their favorite picture or written memory of me to be placed in a keepsake album. WOW, to read what people think about you while you are still alive is so touching. I was boo hooing all day yesterday. Even though I asked for no presents, I got some damn good swag!!! A bon-bon lady even came and sang me a really cool personalized telegram. For a toast, I wrote this little diddy and entertained the folks in attendance:
I was born waaaaay back in the year 1963
Some of you young’uns probably think my Mama had to squat by a tree
I couldn’t imagine bein’ old when I was a young tyke 
So I’m here to tell ya, this is what 50 looks like
Wrinkles would cover my face like a prune if it wasn’t for the beauty of Botox
And every single month I get full grey coverage with professional Clorox
Just getting up from a chair causes me to hurt
Probably because I’m old as dirt
When you tell someone your age, they all want to take a jab
Like going to the gym is no longer working out, it’s called rehab
When I take off my bra my tits fall down to my waist
Oh well, at least I’ve always had good taste
‘Cause the best thing I ever did was marry a guy named Jeff
After livin’ with me the poor dude has gone deaf
My biggest regret is waitin’ so long and I still don’t have an empty nest
Whew, anybody my age will tell ya that puts your mind to the test
But don’t worry about me folks ‘cause I ain’t got no tears
I’ve done a lot of damn good livin’ in these  50 years
It’s so awesome to have friends like all of you
And you all know I like very, very few
By now I’ve earned the right to flip assholes the bird
Really, I don't need to say another word
As I look back on my life I think its been better than just plain old nifty
So everybody raise your glass, ‘cause today I’m fucking fifty! 
As the group thinned out, my gorgeous friend Heather taught me some classic Tina Turner moves to "Proud Mary".  I'm quite sure the bald dude at the bar had some amazing dreams about Heather shakin' her money maker! I did attempt to twerk with the uber talented Hot Tamale but I was no match for her. And of course no birthday celebration would be complete without gettin' liquored up and dancin' with your man to your college theme song. "Take Me Home Country Roads" Baby:
Photo: This is some West Virginia lovin' for sure. Happy to be a part of Deb's 50 and Fierce celebration.
 

 
 
 

24 comments:

  1. Empty wine bottles? Wonder who emptied them?
    And you're looking swell in that first picture, sister Debs

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    1. Thank you Dezzy! Knowing my friends they drank the libations before they crapped my house.

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  2. what a great time! Have another bday party next year!

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  3. Daym you look fine! I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself

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  4. You look haw-some, and I had no idea you were 50. Cheers to not looking OR acting your age!

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    1. I definitely have the maturity factor of a 13 year old boy!!!

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  5. Wow that is a lot of wine, hopefully they were saving them up and never drank them all in one night. Glad it was grand, so are you saying you're now as old as the cat's litterbox sand? lol

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  6. I must say you really know how to celebrate. Good for you. And Happy Birthday once again.

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  7. Look how stinkin cute you are!!!!! I absolutely love the idea of wine bottles scattered everywhere. I love that your birthday was a fabulous hit. Happy Birthday again and Merry Christmas my funny fabulous friend.

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  8. Happy Birthday!

    You are officially 5 years older than me. Which is nice, because i REALLY dig older women....

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  9. Looks and sounds like y'all had a BLAST!!! Love the 'Poem.' Congrats again, Slu

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  10. 50 and fabulous! You go, girl. I bet you can give those young things a run for their money.

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  11. I didn't look half as good as you when I turned 50.
    For one, the dress didn't fit right.

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  12. You sure know how to celebrate a birthday

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  13. I can't say that I would take it so well if someone did that to my house. Unless they came back and cleaned it up. But, hey, on my birthday, I don't want to be cleaning up someone else's messes.

    And that was a great poem!

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  14. Looks like a great party, I don't even remember what we did for my mom. Though she luckily never got one of those over the hill balloons.

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  15. As they say, 50 is the new 27. Happy belated b-day and congratulations on reaching the big 50.

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  16. I would of fought for the cowboy snowman as well. I am so glad you had a great birthday. Your friends sound like a really fun bunch.

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  17. You DO have awesome friends! They even knew you would appreciate a redneckified front yard. By your song choices alone, I can tell it was a great party.
    Happy, happy 50th you rockin' hot babe, you!

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  18. OMyGursch, Deb! I missed your big FIVE O! ♫♫♪♫♪♪♫HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU♪♪♫♫♪♪♫♫!!!! I loved your poem!!! I love your last photo. Ya know, I can tell you are so happy you are 50 and still sporting that awesome hot body of yours! Yowww!!! You and Uncle Jeffy look so cute together!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  19. You.have.the.coolest.friends.everrrr! Happy belated birthday pretty girl.
    Cortne

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  20. So glad to hear you had such an awesome birthday! Love the wine bottle decor! :)

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