Monday, November 4, 2013

A Thank You for a Thank You

Technically I suppose I should ask Miss Manners this question, but I thought I would throw it out there to all of my readers to get a real global perspective to this quandary. Question: when someone does a nice gesture and the recipient says thank you, is the original person obligated to send a note or do something in return as a thank you for the thank you?

I realize that sounds confusing, so let me give you two real life examples that happened very recently to illustrate. Uncle Jeffy was just doing his job like he does every day. He received a nice thank you card and gift certificate from a patient who was very appreciative of his work. Inside the card was included 2 stamps and a separate piece of paper which listed the patient's address. We assumed this meant he was supposed to send back a thank you card for receiving the thank you card and gift certificate. We might be rednecks, but we ain't stoopit. So, Uncle Jeffy got a thank you card outta the drawer, wrote a thank you for the thank you, used the patient's stamps, and promptly sent it.

Another case in point was on my child's football team this year. The team Mom asked for donations from all the parents to buy the coaches' gift certificates as a thank you for all of their hard work. The day we were to present the gift certificates, another Mom sent out a group email saying she bought the team Mom a bottle of wine and a gift certificate as a thank you (which was also a hint for cash contributions). Here again, a thank you for a thank you. Some parents even went so far as to thank that Mom for her gesture. That actually makes it a thank you for the thank you for the thank you.

HOT DAMN, when does it end folks????? Whatever happened to a simple thank you, you're welcome kinda deal? Lemme hear from ya, 'cause I bettah get a move on if I gotta hunt down the names and address of all of them trick or treaters and send them a thank you card for them saying thank you to me for handin' out kick ass Halloween candy.

24 comments:

  1. Whoa.
    On a (sorta) related note...I probably SHOULD have left a tip at the diner on Saturday night.
    But, that waitress was as stuck up as a tampon.
    (NOTE: The above is an example of "Cross-Blog Pollination").

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  2. The proper chain of command is now four thank yous. So if Uncle Jeffy didn't get a reply thank you from the patient in which he could reply his FINAL thank you, then the patient is indeed the ungrateful jackass.

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  3. I don't think it ever ends, sometimes. Silly, when it gets to that point.

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  4. Hahaha, that AlPenwasser! I'm going to send him a thank you card for borrowing the "stuck up as a tampon" line from my blog. Then I'm gonna track down the dude who wrote that on his dating site and send him a thank you card with a self-addressed and stamped thank you for the thank you to me. I'll send his momma one too, because she birthed that mother f*r. God bless her. It never ends. Kindness for the sake of kindness doesn't exist anymore. Does it?

    xoRobyn

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  5. At that rate, it becomes a groundhog kind of day of 'thank yous'.

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  6. I want to know when any thank you became an obligation. When we do something nice, it's supposed to be because we're doing something nice, not to get a thank you. Sure, a thank you can be a nice acknowledgement, but we shouldn't make anyone feel obligated to give it.

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  7. Where are the people who do nice things without expecting anything in return? They're probably everywhere but we just don't know about it. We sent a rather expensive wedding gift to the daughter of some good friends six months ago and we haven't even heard that they received our gift.

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  8. It would eventually be a never ending string of thank you notes that would surpass the edge of time.

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  9. Wow with all those thank yous when doesn't anyone get time to tell others to **** off lol thank you once and done, no thank you for a thank you for a thank you for thank you

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  10. I will give that first one the benefit of the doubt. Since he mailed a gift certificate, perhaps he just wanted to make sure you got it. Maybe, in the past, gifts never made it to the recipient.
    In general, a two layer thank you should be enough. The gift is given as a thank you, then an acknowledgement of the gift is the second. And done.
    Why the hell did I just put so much thought into that?

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  11. Wow... All I can say is: If I ever send a "Thank You Card & Gift Certificate" to anyone for anything... anything mind you, I WOULD NEVER INCLUDE AN ENVELOPE AND TWO STAMPS as if I were expecting ANYTHING back!!! Holy Smokes!!!

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  12. I'm hoping the envelope/stamp thing was just an effort to prevent someone from doing extra work by tracking her down to thank her ?? Some people were raised to ALWAYS send a thank you card, so it's just hard-wired in their brains to always do it. Mayhap the gift card giver just didn't want your husband to have to worry about tracking down the address and/or buying a stamp? Sometimes a kind gesture can be misread. And I'm with you, a thank you for a thank you and beyond that: AAAHHHH!!!!

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  13. I think the mom who sent out info to thank the mom who was doing the favor to thank the coach (still with me?) was going too far. A simple verbal TY would have been sufficient. And the person who added stamps? That's crazy.

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  14. I like this BE WELCOME approach. Never heard of it, sicne I live in a country in which not many people have nice manners, but I'd enjoy the thank you for thank you style :)

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  15. Anytime you can spread a little extra love into the world, go ahead and make it happen. But expecting a thank you for a thank you just doesn't make too much sense. Seems greedy…you do nice things with no expectations, that is how it is supposed to work.

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    1. The warm feeling which comes from doing a truly good thing is its own reward.
      And a gift certificate to Applebees.

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  16. Now isn't that the stupidest crap I have heard today. Seems like a waste of the original good deed by enclosing a stamped envelope for a thank you. She did a good thing only to do a dumb ass thing and wipe out the good of the good thing.

    And the lady with the secondary request to thank the mom who did the first request...seriously...that chick would of pissed me off.

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