Thursday, October 24, 2013

Shreddies, The New Teddies

Are you tired of your obnoxious farts?
'Cause they smell like rotten apple tarts.
Then try these revolutionary new underwear
When you have stinky gas, no one will stare.
Shreddies boast a material used in chemical warfare
Back your ass up and let one rip if you dare.
Made for men and women too
You know what you must do
Buy a few pairs to have on hand
When you chow down on somethin' not so bland.
These are essential under your jeans
For those unfortunate times when you eat beans.
And check out those super sexy styles
Whoo Wee, that should keep ya pumped up for miles.
Plus a hot model sniffin' your sweet ass
My, my, my what a lucky young lass.
So go buy your Shreddies today
Have them shipped without delay.
Your partner will thank you from the bottom of their heart
Now go on and have yourself a big ol' fart!
 
Thank you Rossie for the awesome blog material!
 
Story: Here
 
 

33 comments:

  1. LOL the rhyming made it all the more clever and funny. You're becoming a regular Patt Hatt!

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  2. Your poetry adds just the right touch of class to balance that horrible photo. Who comes up with these products?

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    Replies
    1. I wish I would have thought of it. My kids could use a few pairs.

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  3. hahaha look at you go with the flow, now if you were passing gas in mass with your new underwear on as well. That would be even more swell

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  4. My favourite line 'Plus a hot model sniffin' your sweet ass' I will learn it by heart and sing it merrilly :)

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha glad I could provide you with some enjoyment Dezzy!

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  5. This is probably a good warning sign for men. Take a girl home, strip her down, and see she's in shreddies? Run, man! If she needs those things, she's probably a digestional wildebeest.

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  6. Replies
    1. Yes, but I have to admit it's a great idea after living with 2 teenage boys.

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  7. coming to a walmart near you

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  8. So weird!!! Now they will be ruining the smell of all things apple. LOL
    Your rhyming is the best!

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    Replies
    1. Not to worry, I just needed something to rhyme with fart and apple tart was what popped into my warped mind.

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  9. Where did you hear about these? This hasn't been in the Target ad, has it? I would love to see how they would make an infomercial for it

    Your poem is a riot, BTW.

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    Replies
    1. I saw it on a friend's Facebook page and knew I had to blog about it. Click on the story link above and you can get a pair for a mere 40 bucks.

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  10. Very funny, and of course there's always "Beano." But farting is one of the few exorcizes I do, that and jumping to conclusions.

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  11. Farting is an awesome exercise. Wonder if my personal trainer will allow me to jump to conclusions tomorrow instead of those other horrid exercises he makes me do?

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  12. Why is farting so funny? One day at Cub Scouts, one of the little wolf Cubs farted when we were playing a board came with two other boys and me. When he farted, I called him on it and he burst out laughing a laugh of embarrassment that I called him on it instead of ignoring it. Now days when he sees me around the church or neighborhood, he always says hi with a big smile. I think that made him realize I was just an old gram-ma type that was having fun. Hahahahaha.

    Oh so you love my little $3 jacket do you? LOL

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  13. JKIRF always brings a Smile... and today: a Poem to boot. Nice!!!

    Have a great day, Slu

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  14. My cat has something like that for his litter box. I've always wondered how much worse it would be without it, because we all still know when the cat has done some business.

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  15. Are they reuseable though? Can you wash them and wear them again or is it a one and done deal?

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  16. I don't think they'll have my size underpants mate, and I don't think anything in this world would be able to keep my stink out, ha ha ha. Are they padded?

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  17. These remind me of the theme of one of my kids' all time favorite movies, "Thunderpants" where Harry Potter's best ginger-haired bud (pre-Harry fame of course) invents underpants that trap farts inside!

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  18. I'm not tired of MY obnoxious farts.
    Can't speak for anyone else, though.

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  19. Bahahahaha... What will they think of next???

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