Monday, October 28, 2013

Let Me Spell It Out Fer Ya

Folks, if ya wanna donate some money to a real charity case, ya gotta run out to your nearest book store and buy Tori Spelling's memoir "Spelling It Like It Is" where she opens up about her recent financial problems after growing up as the spoiled rich kid of extravagant TV mogul Aaron Spelling. Granted, I ain't gonna waste Uncle Jeffy's hard earned cash on this tell all, 'cause after readin' the recap in People magazine I was cryin' so damn hard I just knew I couldn't make it through that entire tear jerker without wantin' to clear out our bank accounts and send Tori our every last penny.

The poor girl has had to sell her 6,700 square foot mansion in Encino, CA and rent a more "modest"  home in the San Fernando Valley, she hasn't bought a Prada purse in 3 looooong years, and dare I even say it, but her kids are even wearin' each other's designer hand me downs. Oh the horror!!!!!

They are even watchin' their medical expenses like every budget conscious couple should. Considering Tori and her husband Dean McDermott have 4 kids less than 6 years old that sounds all well and good right? But wait, Tori had placenta previa with her last pregnancy and spent 55 days in the hospital and nearly died. Yet, their business manager advised the couple that Dean should not get the vasectomy he wanted because they could not afford it. Uh, yeah!!!!

Well Ms. Spelling, math might not be your strong suit so let me spell it out fer ya in words ya might understand: your manager sucks. The average cost of a vasectomy is about 1,000 bucks. If Dean can't keep his hands off your hot, sexy bod and you get preggers again, the average cost of pregnancy and newborn care for a vaginal delivery is $30,000 and for a C-section it's $50,000 smackaroos. Raisin' another young'un for a middle income family is $241,000. Of course you have no concept of middle income so the cost of raisin' your prince or princess probably costs you that much per month. If you have medical complications again, it could be catastrophic. So, unless you wanna risk slummin' it in some beach shack in Malibu and resortin' to shoppin' at stores like Target, I'm gonna "Spell It Like It Is": ya might wanna fire your business manager and make that appointment for the big V ASAP! Hell, you can even buy an amazing Prada purse and be ahead of the game girl!

21 comments:

  1. Kids could cost anywhere from $30,000-50,000 just for delivery? That made ME not want to have kids.

    Also, I see that her "book" above says '#1 New York Times Bestselling Author' on it. I'm just going to go kill myself now. Nice knowing you!

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    1. I think the #1NYBA title is given out like candy to anyone semi-famous.

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  2. Such delight.... I've always wondered who watches her shows, buys her movies and reads her books? I don't know the answer....

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  3. Book burning party any one? Costs that much to have kids down there? Damn, free up here.

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  4. It really bothers me when celebrities talk of how hard they have it. It's an insult to people who are truly impoverished. That being said, I still love watching old reruns of 90210...

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  5. Or they could have just cut off her baby making abilities while they had her open. Been there, done that with the previa thing.

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  6. They could always butcher that pig on the cover and save some money on food.
    Why would anyone buy that book?

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  7. I did not know she nearly died having her fourth kid. I didn't know she had three kids. I didn't know any of this stuff other than she was with this McDermott dude who she apparently stole from another wife? Or am I making this stuff up?

    Thank you Deb for cheering on my Mom's inspiration! You are so loyal to me I could cry. Thank YOU!!!! ♥

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  8. SO disgusting that she actually wrote a book and expected people for feel bad for her woes. ESPECIALLY because right now i have a dear friend who lost her husband last year and they are foreclosing on her house in 10 days and has to move in with a friend in Minnesota from Texas. My heart hurts for her and spoiled bitches like this makes me want to strangle someone!

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  9. Your tongue is popping through your cheek on this one. I know nothing about Tori Spelling and I'm happy to keep it that way. Take care.

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  10. Some people are just not clear on the concept of financial difficulties! Poor little princess...

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  11. Your recap is awesome! I've never read anything by her and I plan to keep it that way.

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  12. I have never been able to stomach Tori Spelling and this just confirms why. Ugh.

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  13. Well, in all fairness, her name IS Spelling and not Math.
    And, since I'm not above gratuitous personal attacks, the ho is as ugly as a hat fulla a**holes.

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  14. Some people truly are out of touch with reality. How sad. Her kids will likely grow up to be much the same.

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  15. If ONLY she had NOT alienated MOMMY!!! Oh well...

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  16. I am so glad I follow your blog or I would of missed knowing her horrible circumstances all together. Why are they so cash strapped? Did Lifetime Movies go out of business? Isn't there a reality show in the making to show us what this type of poverty looks like. How can she bare not getting a new Prada purse in such a long time? Damn, that sounds rough. **choke, choke**

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  17. She disgusts me. He cheated on her too, but the media down-played it because she did. Al Penwasser said it best. He always does.

    xoRobyn

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  18. There's a tell all that I can skip... lol ... some people have no idea if the true costs... I guess that happens when you were raised with a silver spoon in your mouth (which is fine, just don't cry poor)....

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  19. I can't freaking stand Tori Spelling...she drives me nuts.

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