Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Show Me the Money

It's Wacky Wednesday time again, and today I'm gonna give ya the straight poop about some butt head from Tennessee who stole 5 G's from her boyfriend and stashed it up the ol' Hershey Highway as a hiding place. Not to worry folks, there was no dirty money involved 'cause when the law dogs came to arrest her for the stolen goods, she tried to use a toilet brush and a pair of tongs to remove the $5,000 butt plug. Holy shit, she woulda been better drinkin' an entire bottle of prune juice and lettin' nature take its course 'cause that debacle landed her in the hospital with severe rectal bleeding. Butt, at least she didn't dump and run. Seriously, you can't make this shit up!
So there's Christie Black, who was "framed" by her asshole boyfriend to see if she would steal the cash. He put the money inside two envelopes in a medicine bag, placed it on a foosball table and went to bed. When he woke up the bag was missing so he called the cops. Miss Shit for Brains admitted to stealing the loot 'cause she was afraid her boyfriend was gonna kick her to the curb and she needed a place to live. Wonder if the dude thinks he got a shitty return on his investment?

I suppose there is good news and bad news regarding this wacky story. The good news is that Ms. Black recovered from her injuries and can now shake her money maker again. The bad news is that no more money bags will be appearing when someone tells her to shit or get off the pot, which is really sad, 'cause for an instant there Ms. Black coined a whole new way of "making a deposit".

A special thank you to my friend Claire for sending me this mad money story.

Story: Here

29 comments:

  1. What's that saying, "I don't poop money". Well, this lady can say she does lol

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  2. Hmmmmmm.....Mizrizz Black, rektals bleedin, I thanks we seez what di rections dis finta goes.

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  3. Uggg wait until that money gets spent and goes back into circulation. One's wallet won't be bare, it won't be loaded, it will be full of shit lol

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  4. Holy shit! What possesses some people to think of the crap they think up? There seems to be more and more idiots putting things in orifices that were never meant to be substitutes for safe-deposit boxes. TONGS and TOILET BRUSH???? Seriously... wrong on so many levels.

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  5. Nice post, great blog, following :)

    Good Luck :)

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  6. And to think I though money grew on trees.

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  7. It is so nice to visit this space, because as you allude to in your very first sentence, this is where we absolutely will get the "straight poop" on the daily grind out there. And the smile's just keep on forming. lol

    Happy Hump Day, Slu

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  8. You just can't make this shit up if you tried.

    Thankfully so.

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  9. I'll just hide it, nobody will surely look there.

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  10. She was worried her boyfriend was going to leave her? But what man would leave that beautiful goddess?

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  11. If there was ever a need for money laundering, this is it.

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  12. Oh Deb this give a whole new meaning to the term: filthy lucre - yuck.

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  13. i was going to write a funny comment but Al's just made me laugh out loud and was better than what i was going to write, so fuck HIM!

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  14. Innuendos are your specialty. I'm humored by all of them. Well done.

    I'm utterly disgusted. That's 5K I would reject, if offered.

    xoRobyn

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  15. The term "exit only" was lost on her.

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  16. LMFAO.... that's just... hilarious.

    Your ending was even better.

    The post, I mean.

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  17. I can't even imagine trying to stash a wad of money up there. Things are supposed to come OUT of the ol' brown eye, not go in....although many would disagree....hehehehe!

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