It's Wacky Wednesday time again, and today I'm gonna give ya the straight poop about some butt head from Tennessee who stole 5 G's from her boyfriend and stashed it up the ol' Hershey Highway as a hiding place. Not to worry folks, there was no dirty money involved 'cause when the law dogs came to arrest her for the stolen goods, she tried to use a toilet brush and a pair of tongs to remove the $5,000 butt plug. Holy shit, she woulda been better drinkin' an entire bottle of prune juice and lettin' nature take its course 'cause that debacle landed her in the hospital with severe rectal bleeding. Butt, at least she didn't dump and run. Seriously, you can't make this shit up!
So there's Christie Black, who was "framed" by her asshole boyfriend to see if she would steal the cash. He put the money inside two envelopes in a medicine bag, placed it on a foosball table and went to bed. When he woke up the bag was missing so he called the cops. Miss Shit for Brains admitted to stealing the loot 'cause she was afraid her boyfriend was gonna kick her to the curb and she needed a place to live. Wonder if the dude thinks he got a shitty return on his investment?
I suppose there is good news and bad news regarding this wacky story. The good news is that Ms. Black recovered from her injuries and can now shake her money maker again. The bad news is that no more money bags will be appearing when someone tells her to shit or get off the pot, which is really sad, 'cause for an instant there Ms. Black coined a whole new way of "making a deposit".
A special thank you to my friend Claire for sending me this mad money story.