Monday, September 23, 2013

Redneck Red Carpet Recap

The Emmy awards were last night, and if you missed the three hour snore fest, consider yourself lucky. There were no huge productions numbers, no trips and falls (except one completely staged by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), and sadly, no wardrobe malfunctions. As always, I'm here to give ya the snarky redneck red carpet recap, 'cause like I've said before, if the purple/grey haired Kelly Osbourne is now considered a fashion critic, there's a market for anyone.
Body huggilicious with no bootilicious showing this year.
Zooey Deschanel wrapped up like a pretty package.
How about Tina Fey showin' some boob?
 
In contrast, someone please buy Claire Danes some tits!
 Heidi Klum needs some horns and a pitch fork to be one sexy devil.
I made a D on this watercolor painting in third grade.
So glad to see stars can get creative with a glue gun and appliques.
Amanda, Halloween is next month.
So that's what happened to my 70's beads. Did you steal my disco ball too Julianne?
January Jones wearing Pepto Bismol pink 'cause her stomach still hurts from those rumors of her being the other woman in the Miley Cyrus/Liam Hunksworth triangle.
Connie Britton staying snuggly and warm in a velvet bedspread.
And the fugliest dress award goes to Lena Dunham for wearing her outdoor garden to an indoor event.
 
Fashions: Here
 



23 comments:

  1. My god, how can they think these look good, some do, but most look like a two year old did them up haha Danes looks like she just took the curtain off of some fleabag motel room and used it

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  2. ooh, I already have the fashion report ready for tomorrow :)
    Amanda Peet is my most horrible outfit too :) next to that person who played with water colours..... Claire Danes always looks horrible. I think she doesn't have a mirror in her cassa....

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  3. If Zooey's material was a bit thinner, I think she'd end up like like Anne Hathaway's oscar one

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  4. Holy cow, there were some seriously bad dresses this year!! I can't even pick a worst. Hair and makeup on some don't help either. Wow. Does no one in Hollywood own a mirror anymore? Or was this a year where the designers got together and pulled an "emperor's new clothes" practical joke?

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  5. LOVE Zooey Deschanel. She could be wrapped in the ugliest dress known to mankind and I'd still totally have coffee with her.

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  6. Julianne Hough is such a cutie though she can pull off anything! I seriously love Lena but her dress does not do her any favors. Yikes! I heard on the radio this morning that Tina Fey had a nip slip.

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  7. Your Claire Danes comment made me laugh out loud. Also, Lena Dunham looks like she wore my grandma's curtains.

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  8. Seriously... Lena's "Yes" person should be fired for saying: "Yes." Holy Smokes!!!

    Have a great day, Slu

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  9. I'm really glad Claire Danes won because she's superb on Homeland but that dress was terrible. Why wear a dress designed to show off the fact that you got nothin' to show off?

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  10. Oh no...that last dress !! What has been seen cannot be unseen :0/

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  11. Julianne looks like she is trying to relive the days of "I Dream of Genie". And it's seriously NOT working for her.

    The dress with the glue gun and appliques I swear looks like a cupcake. Probably not the look she was going for.

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  12. You know what? You did a really good job on these. I laughed at the last one.

    Good stuff.

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  13. Zooey's dress was fabulous! My fave! Sophia's was weird to me (too red? too something?) All the others were horrid. Julianne Hough looked very pretty in her makeup and hair (best I have seen of her since her DWTS days) but that barely there pale green flickers of something was disgraceful to her sense of a woman, or her sense of a person or some such nonsense. But yes you do have the worst one on the bottom of the list. Ya know, it isn't so much that its the pattern (well, yes the pattern is hideous) but it doesn't FIT. Did she lose 20-30 lbs between the fitting and the evening? Did she have a fitting? Did she really think that was the correct choice to wear to a Gala Event for a television star and writer? Huh? I am baffled beyond belief on that one. Thanks for posting a grand Emmy review Post, Deb, Thanks!!!! ♥

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  14. That's Lena Dunham? Oops... I thought it was a couch.

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  15. I didn't watch the show but I did look at several of the sites that show the best and worst dresses. Oddly enough, the fugliest dress that Lena Duham wore was on the best list. Obviously, the fashion gurus were more than a little drunk.

    AND why did so many of the most pale woman wear ill fitting pastel dresses??? Is that a trend?

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  16. Don't knock what a 5 year old can come up with

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