Real style, real grace, real humor from a real redneck.
Friday, August 16, 2013
The Kissing Bandit
Today's story comes from Venice, Florida where a modern day kissing bandit is on the loose. It seems Mr. Flash Gordon here likes to offer his victims money in exchange for the right to kiss their ass. Although the perp is described as a heavy set guy with moobs and a tat on his right bicep, I fail to understand why these ladies are viewing this as the kiss of death. Hah, I would become the biggest ass-kisser in the world if I thought someone would actually pay me 200 smackeroos to plant their lips on my old, wrinkly bum. Oh and this note he gave one of his intended targets and her kissing cousin proves he's the real deal and that he ain't no flash in the pan:
Doesn't that note just give you folks flashbacks of your days in middle school? Sadly, the chicks gave the poor dude the big kiss off and the law dogs are still out lookin' for him. So I'm thinkin', given the current state of unemployment, this flasher could get some serious business if he set up a kissing booth and simply played some Juvenile "Back That Ass Up"! Now there is a win/win baby!!!