Friday, August 16, 2013

The Kissing Bandit

Today's story comes from Venice, Florida where a modern day kissing bandit is on the loose. It seems Mr. Flash Gordon here likes to offer his victims money in exchange for the right to kiss their ass. Although the perp is described as a heavy set guy with moobs and a tat on his right bicep, I fail to understand why these ladies are viewing this as the kiss of death.  Hah, I would become the biggest ass-kisser in the world if I thought someone would actually pay me 200 smackeroos to plant their lips on my old, wrinkly bum. Oh and this note he gave one of his intended targets and her kissing cousin proves he's the real deal and that he ain't no flash in the pan:
Doesn't that note just give you folks flashbacks of your days in middle school? Sadly, the chicks gave the poor dude the big kiss off and the law dogs are still out lookin' for him. So I'm thinkin', given the current state of unemployment, this flasher could get some serious business if he set up a kissing booth and simply played some Juvenile "Back That Ass Up"! Now there is a win/win baby!!!


Story: Here

19 comments:

  1. so he pays people to let them kiss their bum? How wonderfully delightful.... I'd sell my bum for kissing for a reasonable price...

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  2. Cuckoos everywhere! Such a nice note he wrote. Yuck.

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  3. $200 bucks? Hmmm I may whore one cheek out for that

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  4. There is a price for everything I suppose. I have less of a problem with him kissing my butt but (no pun intended) I wouldn't want to watch his pre-game show AND I wouldn't want to touch the money after he had touched it. ICK

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  5. HAHA Perfect song. So he wants to kiss MY ass for $200? Sold! Because I'd love a picture of someone kissing my ass!

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  6. Hmm... an ass kissing booth. That has promise. Except the payment needs to go the other way: "Pay me to kiss your ass!"

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  7. Sounds like a victimless crime to me. Historically, most great civilizations had legalized prostitution and very few sex crimes.

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  8. From his Lips to their Cheeks... 200 Smacks!!! "Just Do It."

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  9. Pretty soon he'll be running for Mayor of New York....

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  10. What a monster. Funny blog you have here.
    +followed

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