Thursday, August 29, 2013

Ode to Miley Cyrus

Girl, what happened to the Hannah Montana days of old?
Back then everything you touched turned to gold.
You sure were cute when you were a young tyke
Quite frankly your shaved head makes you look like a dyke.
Pity you fell victim to the Disney Disease
So many stars seem to do so with ease.
When your Daddy heals from his achy breaky heart
He needs to put his foot down and rip your butt apart.
Otherwise your life is goin' straight down the drain.
You already got one foot aboard the crazy train.
I will admit I'm envious of your tight toned ass.
But your VMA performance was totally crass!
Shakin' your thang and callin' it the twerk
Sure made you look like a stupid ass jerk.
Pressin' up against Beetlejuice who is twice your age
Lemme tell ya, your class ain't even on the same page.
Rubbin' that foam finger up and down your vajayjay
Made everyone think you were an easy lay.
But I got a feelin' deep down in my gut
That you want to be known as a skanky slut.
If that's the case I honestly feel sorry for you.
'Cause that's certainly not the best you can do.
So please stop tryin' so hard to reinvent yourself.
 Maybe just read a self improvement book off the shelf.
And what was up with that freaky tongue action you had goin' on?
Whew, if I didn't have bleach, my brain cells would now be long gone.
You really just left everybody shakin' their head.
I'm just glad I could turn you off and go to bed!


  1. It was quite an, ahem, memorable performance
    Haven't seen anything before or since
    I loved the Will Smith family reaction
    Gave me much humorous satisfaction

  2. She is so far gone
    May never have a brain cell dawn
    Needs to get a grip
    And keep that tongue covered up with her plastic lip

  3. I really wouldn't be surprised if she sold millions of records after this humiliating episode.... Whenever that godawful wench Rihanna sings about killing someone, shooting someone or when she is late for three hours for her own concerts.... the wench sells even more singles...... Methinks the apocalypse is coming and Miley, Britney, Kati and Rihanna are riding it!

  4. Jaysus! She must have really irritated you. Have you ever read that attributes of another that rankle us, are those that we ourselves have and have not owned up too ?

  5. Quite frankly your shaved head makes you look like a dyke

    Thank you. Not just for this post, but for this particular part. I still hear guys call her 'hot,' and I think, okay, so you're secretly gay right? Because she looks like a boy. Not hot at ALL.

    1. I remember hearing that Maxim named her the #1 hottest woman in 2013. I wonder how much she paid them.

  6. I shole likes dat poms you rote. We needs ta git hur ovah to da black snake moans an teaches hur a lessun.

  7. I agree with Bryan.
    And I still don't get this twerking thing, which is now evidently a word.

  8. I wonder if it's just a marketing ploy, albeit a crass one. Best she sold lots of records after this!

  9. She sure got everyone talking about her. I don't knw who won any awards but I do know she has a long tongue.

  10. great post or should I say ode! seriously what is that tongue think about! the whole thing made me cringe

  11. I only saw a wee bit of this online. She's trying so hard and it seems rather silly and pointless.

  12. I am very proud of you for this one. You're a poet! I love it. This sums it up well: "Shakin' your thang and callin' it the twerk / Sure made you look like a stupid ass jerk."

    Like you, though, I am jealous. I'm more jealous of her abs than her ass. (I don't have any abs, that I'm aware of.)

    All along, too, I wonder what her mom's saying. All the focus is on daddy. Mommy can't be too happy either.


  13. Oh this is so sad. I don't see how those poor souls can handle all of the 'entertainment industry' pressures and it just destroys them. I loved the last line the most. Just have to go to bed.


    ...I don't have a saxxy tool belt! But my HM does. LOL

  14. Oh my gosh- funniest stuff I've read all day. HELLOOOO hot mess. That child star disease is really catching. Dang.

  15. Wow! You rocked it on this one Deb.

  16. You nailed that perfectly in rhyme. So true, so true!!

  17. Debster... Bravo!!! Very much enjoyed, Slu

  18. Eloquently put! She was disgusting on the VMAs.