Monday, August 5, 2013

I'm a Nut (click, click)

I've been called so many names in my life that usually I just let them roll, 'cause if it's from people who don't even know me why should I even give a flyin' fig. However, when someone calls me somethin' that's true, like a "nut", I stand up and pay attention 'cause I know fo' sho I'm freakin' crazy as a loon. Turns out my hilarious blogging buddy Menopausal Mother bestowed upon me the squirrely blogger award for being nutty and quirky. All I have to do is give y'all 7-10 quirky facts about myself. Hold on folks, you are in for a wild ride:

1.  Speaking of squirrels, those pesky rodents with bushy tails get in my attic from time to time and I have been known to pack some heat and go on the hunt in my own house. I make a damn good squirrel pot pie so come on over sometime for dinnah. It tastes just like chicken!!!

2.  I'm a bit of a laundry Nazi and adhere to quite the strict schedule. Sunday is a load of colored wash, Monday off, Tuesday is the day for all of the sheets and towels in the house, Wednesday is back to another load of colors, Thursday off, Friday is a big day with a load of whites AND a load of colors, and Saturday rounds out the week with delicate wash. This includes thangs like thongs, nipple shields, banana hammocks and cleaning all the sex toys.

3.  Although I live in a beach community, I much prefer the mountains.

4.  Just like my squirrely friend Menopausal Mother I don't always flush the toilet after I tinkle, but for very different reasons than her. I started this habit when we lived in a cramped condo so small you would trip over yourself and I didn't want to wake up my sleeping child when my bladder woke me up in the middle of the night with the big WHOOOSH. For reasons unknown, I still feel as if it's a courtesy not to flush every night and wake up Uncle Jeffy even though he sleeps like the dead and snores like a banshee.

5.  I have seasonal obsessions with sweets. Starting in early September I go through more bags of candy corn than Carter has pills. (That was one of my Dad's favorite expressions) On November 1st I stop the candy corn cold turkey just like an addict, and I buy all kinds of Christmas candy that is wrapped in red and green foil. The favorites are Reeses peanut butter cups and peanut M&M's. Sometime after the first of the year those damn thin mints laced with crack will arrive, but I'm keepin' mum on how many boxes I actually eat in case my personal trainer reads this post. In years past I used to eat those malted milk Robin's eggs at Easter but I had to go to rehab. After bein' in there with the likes of Lindsay Lohan I'm stayin' clean!!!

6.  I always have been, and forever will be, a Disco luvin' Queen. "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, unh, get down tonight, UNH"!

7.  Try as I may, try as I might, I nevah did get the hang of "reverse mode" in a car. When I visit someone who has a driveway, I park at the very end and walk the rest of the way to their house. Sure spares many a mailbox, pets and even small children from debilitating injury should any of them have the unfortunate luck of bein' in my path on the way out.

8.  I'm amazed by zits and abscesses and watch countless YouTube videos of them POP POP POPPING. Told you I was a nut case!!!!

Now, for any of you blogging friends brave enough to reveal 7-10 quirky thangs about yourself, grab that award and have at it.

37 comments:

  1. Look at you: All 'Billy B. A.' and toting a gun with a smirk & covered in Cammo!!! Yo Debster... The Squirrels don't have a chance.

    Oh, to be a 'Fly on the wall' on Saturday's... Ha!!!

    Absolutely Peanut M&M's!!!

    Have a great Monday, Slu

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    Replies
    1. I'm not a very good shot but it gets out the frustrations.

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  2. I can't thank you enough for not putting that last pic as the first one in your post because in that case it would've ended in all of our blogrolls.... :)

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  3. that zit will haunt my nightmares

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    1. For me it's on my wish list of things to see and do.

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  4. My dog had an abscess like that one in the picture that I got to pop the other day. It was fun for about 10 seconds until the smell hit. Those videos don't allow you to, uh, savor that wonderful pus smell. I'd stick to just watching and not actually popping if at all possible.

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  5. Fun post! I can live on peanut M&Ms. And pizza. Two greatest creations. Oh, the horror of that zit (eeeeek). What has been seen, cannot be unseen...

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    1. Pizza and peanut M&M's is a perfect meal. I think all food groups are represented if you put veggies on the pizza.

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  6. I love your laundry schedule!! I'm totally going to start doing that, it'll make my life easier :)
    And those candy corns... they get me every season!

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    Replies
    1. A laundry schedule is key to organization, especially with kids.

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  7. Ok Deb, Gross out factor! I could have gone all day without seeing that huge boil on that guys behind (of his neck)! Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And, how can you eat that much candy and stay so gorgeous?

    I am not a candy person. I love starches; breads, rice, pasta and more rice! LOL

    and I am glad you were given this Award! You earned it.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I told you I was corrupting you. Now you need brain bleach to get rid of that image. Oh, I balance out the sugar with plenty of protein and lots of sweat at the gym.

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  8. A zit fetish? Oh the cat has some ammo now lol laundry nazi too, geez you're making this too easy

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    Replies
    1. I smell a blog blast coming!!! After all that wackiness, I certainly deserve it.

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  9. If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down.

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  10. Squirrels everywhere better stand up and take note

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  11. Oh my gosh, is that thing for real on the back on his neck? I cannot watch anyone pop that. I'll lose my lunch.

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    Replies
    1. My kids were amazed the other day that I was eating dinner and watching zit videos at the same time. It's quite a talent.

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  12. Gross. That boil is disgusting. And darn, Mark already beat me to the mellow yellow poem.

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    Replies
    1. How did I get this far in life and not know that poem?

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    2. Just too young, I guess. If I remember right, it popped up during the Carter administration.

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  13. My mom was obsessed with popping things when I was younger. Not fun. Not fun at all.
    I haven't had squirrel since I was a little kid. When will you make some for me? :P

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    Replies
    1. I like your Mom. I'll let you know next time squirrel is on the menu.

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  14. Oh, YUCK. That thing one of your nipple shields. I assume it's still clean, right?

    You're a riot. I enjoyed this list. I love disco too.

    xoRobyn

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    Replies
    1. My GAWD that zit does look like a nipple shield. How observant of you!!!! I could wash it on Saturday.

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  15. My husband didn't get the reverse mode gene, either. He does the whole, open the door and look out backwards to make sure he's on the drive. Unfortunately, that is not a fail-safe method and I've had to dig him out of snowy ditches once or twice. We have learned, and I am now the driver if we have to back out of anywhere.

    The zit? I have no desire to see that sucker pop. I'm gagging just thinking about it.

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    Replies
    1. Obviously lawyers don't have the reverse gene in their brains. We are programmed for more important thangs like figuring out how to allow good upstanding citizens like OJ Simpson and Casey Anthony to get away with murder.

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  16. If it's brown, flush it down.
    If it's yellow, let it mellow.
    Words to live by.

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  17. I should have read mark's comment first!
    Still...words to live by.

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  18. OMG I love, love, LOVE what you did with this award post! You truly are one of the nuttiest and funniest bloggers I know. No#5 YES!!! I need to go to candy corn rehab for my addiction but my dentist won't let me. He has made a fortune off my addiction. I would LOVE to have you guest on my site in my Wacky Wednesday Writer's series---I have openings in mid to late fall if you are interested...you can email me at: marciakesterdoyle@yahoo.com

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  19. That boil or zit or whatever will show up in my nightmares, as well. GROSS!!!

    I, also, can't do reverse well nor can I parallel park worth a damn.

    Really, people can eat squirrel? Who knew?

    Very interesting facts...I don't think you sound nuts...more like you are unique and interesting.

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  20. That zit looks like it belongs on poor old Job from the Bible.

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  21. Tin thangs bouts mysef. Well, they all inchis. Das all." I luvs ta luv ya baby."

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