Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Snake Charmer

It's Wacky Wednesday time and I gotta thank my potty mouth WVU friend Joe for postin' this gem on his FaceBook page last night. So in Israel a two eyed snake bit a 35 year old man's one eyed snake while he was draining the main vein. Whew, the dude must have thought he was takin' a leak in a snake pit. Since the man was Jewish, rumor has it the snake wanted a bite of a kosher hotdog. That's my attempt at some bathroom humor folks.
Seriously, the guy must have been pissed off not only for getting bit, but doctors say he will have permanent bite marks. That poor whiz kid is gonna be rollin' snake eyes for the rest of his life. Hopefully his significant other has a sense of humor and they can at least do the Tube Snake Boogie together. And, I sure hope that reptile is now made into a nice snake skin belt so when he hollers "shit or get off the pot", it will be a reminder that he damn sure means every single word!

Story: Here

26 comments:

  1. did somebody try to suck out the poison?

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    1. That would be one way of him getting a blow job...

      Hey Honey, can you suck the venom out of this snake bite for me???

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  2. If dat snake be seein my snake, he tare off in the otha directions, funny tho, white womens just seems ta luvs my black conskricter. Woo wee baby.

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  3. I wonder how he explains the marks to any future women in his life. "Yeah I once had this crazy ex-girlfriend".

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  4. Snakes just want a little lovin too lol

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  5. good grief that gives me heart failure!!! Back in the day my great grandmother had an outhouse (she lived in the country in east Texas and didnt have plumbing). We learned at an early age to look in the hole before we sat down.

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  6. From what I know of snake bites, assuming it was a poisonous snake, he's lucky to get away with just bite marks.

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  7. Maybe that snake is practicing at becoming a mohel.

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  8. Holy hell! I almost pee'd myself laughing at this. I had to hold as I don't want to risk the same fate as the poor chap in this story.

    I loved it, as unsettling as it all is.

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  9. Good reason to keep the snake in ones pants or out

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  10. Ouch!!! Poor guy...Nearly sounds like a porno movie...Snakes on a Wang. Sorry but Dezmond took the best line.

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  11. Holy Smoke-a-roos!!! But, I like how you worked in some ZZ Top, my Home Boys, into the mix... I can truly say: 'Better him than me.' Slu

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  12. He'll never play snakes and ladders again

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  13. Well it will definitely make for some good stories whenever he's with new partners who see the damage.

    Q: "What happened there?"

    A: "Snake bite"

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  14. From that article: "Finding snakes indoors is common at this time of year in the Middle East and the man is lucky to not have been bitten by a more dangerous variety."

    A place where snakes freely roam in your house is a sign that humans were not meant to inhabit there. F**k. That.

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  15. HILARIOUS!!!!!!

    "a two eyed snake bit a 35 year old man's one eyed snake"

    The poor old snake was going after the wrong kind. LOL!!!!

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  16. Okay, while I don't like to pass jokes that that aren't mine (I'll pass gas that IS mine, though. Pride in ownership, pride in ownership), this one is too funny, from a snakes and penises perspective:
    Two cowboys were out doing what cowboys do when one decided to urinate (see how your story called this joke to mind?)
    Anyway-of course, you're thinking-a rattlesnake bites him on the ole lariat (euphemism for dork).
    "What do I do?!? Am I gonna die!!??"
    His partner calmly replies, "Don't worry, I'll run into town and ask a doctor what to do. Wait here."
    So, the unbitten buckaroo goes and asks doctor what he should do. The sawbones replies, "Well, you'll need to suck the poison out first. Then..."
    "I got it, doc! Gotta go!!"
    So the friend runs back to his stricken companion who asks, "Well? Well??? What'd he say?"
    "He said you're going to die."
    See? I think this is funny in a bathroom humor kind of way.

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