Monday, July 22, 2013

Pooped Out!

Holy shit folks, today I'm givin' ya the straight poop on a female jogger who backs herself up against a wall, drops trow and gives a whole new meaning to the term "outhouse" by takin' a dump right there on the side of a man's house. She certainly doesn't give a shit about modesty. Guess the poor girl gets the runs when she runs. I'm not shitting you folks, this chick may be built like a brick shit house but she's got shit for brains. The security cameras have caught her on numerous occasions as she literally runs to the bathroom. She pulls down her jogging shorts, drops a deuce, does not wipe, and with no way to even give a courtesy flush she's back on her jogging trail in no time flat.

Now I know we all enjoy our morning constitutional, and some of us may not have the luxury of bein' in the privacy of our own chambers when the mood strikes, but, ya gotta admit, this is a purty shitty thang to do to another human being's personal property. Since the man who owns the house does not know the identity of this mystery woman, let's just hope the video jogs her memory of that old saying, "do unto others as you would have done to you". Maybe then she will come clean, or at least clean out the skid marks in her shorts.

48 comments:

  1. The amount of poop jokes in this post... it brings a tear to my eye. You've done us both proud.

    Also, as a drunken homeless man once told us, "Never shit in the same place twice, 'specially if it's someone's house."

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    1. I really do try to make you guys proud. I forgot to use "shit or get off the pot" though.

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  2. well I can imagine somebody having a sudden need to poop and there's no public rest room. What I don't understand is a news channel making a story out of it! What a mad world we live in, Debs.....

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  3. Good to see Lindsay Lohan is keeping fit.

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  4. Easter Sunday?
    Those aren't Easter Eggs.
    And, I don't care it it looks like chocolate.....

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  5. "Malicious Fecal Distribution."
    I guess that's what they give junior lawyers when they write the penal code.

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  6. Penal Code?
    That must deal with sex crimes.

    Okay. I'm done.

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    1. Hahaha we will save the penal code for another post.

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  7. at least she chose the alley. Could of been right in front of the door.

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  8. I memba da times I diint wawsh ma hans while paparin masa's suppa and da hole clan gox da green apple too steps.

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  9. He should do something to make her shit outta luck, like dig a huge hole and as she drops trough, down she'll go, rolling in her own crap haha

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    1. And, I want to see that video because that will be funny as shit!

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  10. I have heard of runners doing the deed in their shorts in the middle of marathons because they don't want to stop and ruin their times...which completely grossed and freaked me out, but to purposely go at the same guys house, day after day? WTF? I'm sorry but if that was my house, I would not rest until I caught her in the act. And then, I'd kick the shit out of her, so to speak...LOL

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  11. I probably would have put a roll of toilet paper out where she normally goes. Just to see what she'd do.

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    1. Oooooohhhhh you are clever. Let's her know she's busted without confrontation.

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  12. SEE?!?!? It WASN'T my dogs this time!!!

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  13. This story ran on our news here too and OMyGosh, I thought you could / would do a post on it. What? See. I say if you can't crap out before you head out on your run, then you aren't fit to be a runner, doh! The nerve of some peoples' kid's!

    Thanks for the laughs/puns and crap involved. LOL

    Yes, white is the new blue jeans and Jackie O's styles live on.

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    1. Oh Renae it's scary that you are starting to know me so well. Please don't allow me to corrupt you.

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  14. The owner should turn a hose on her when she drops her pants. The more water pressure the better.

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  15. The guy needs to find her and follow her around with one of these French concoctions...
    http://www.livinginkelliesworld.com/2013/07/who-was-that-helmeted-man.html

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    1. Ah yes a bidet. I'm quite fond of those concoctions.

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  16. Looks like she needs to do some warm up exercises at home before going out.

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  17. No shit??? Someone is that disgusting that she would stop and poo on someone's house. That's a new low.

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    1. No shit, when ya gotta go, ya go on someone's house.

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  18. I guess it was a crappy news day. I hope they catch her and mandate that she carries a porta-potty while she runs and runs.

    xoRobyn

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  20. They actually put this on the news? At least she shit and got off the spot

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    1. I guess sometimes ya just gotta run with the news story.

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  21. Maybe Santa will bring her a pooper-scooper for Christmas! Perhaps the home owner can install a motion detector when she squats there...like a butt smacker. That'll scare the shit out of her!

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  22. Oh man, the video is not showing up!! I missed it! This is so bazaar and gross at the same time...but hilarious! You know anything about poop has my attention!

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  23. Oopsie, I think my comment got deleted? Did I say something bad? Or did I forget to publish early this morning. It really could be either. Anywho, Easter egg Sunday made my day...a little. lol.
    Cortne

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  24. Okay, that is just nasty! What on earth is she thinking?

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