Monday, July 15, 2013
Gay or Gourmet?
Now at noon on a Thursday you can imagine the kind of dudes who are gonna hit on a woman sitting alone at a bar. Let's just say they are not the cream of the crop. Seriously, I had one overweight, zit infested guy ask me if my tan was real or whether I would allow someone to spray tan me. Wink, Wink. Uh Yea, bartender may I please have another????????
However, after that went nowhere fast, two handsome gentlemen sat down next to me and started chattin' me up even before their asses hit the chair. If you know me at all, you KNOW I can talk. As one ex-suitor so famously said, "It takes a helluva guy to handle you Deb". One of his complaints was that he didn't have sound proof ear plugs. Anywho, these dudes put me to shame. The thang is I still can't figure out if they were gay or gourmet. I'm gonna combine the guys' comments into one conversation line 'cause they were comin' fast and furious.
Guys: Oh, what a healthy salad. Good for you. And those heirloom tomatoes. They are so lovely this time of year? Your salmon looks a bit overdone. Would you like me to get the waitress for you? I'm sure she can put another order in and it will be out shortly. Shame it appears a bit charred on the edges.
Me: Actually I like my salmon like this and yes the tomatoes are (interrupted)
Guys: Oh please excuse me I didn't mean to offend you about the salmon. Some people do like their fish a bit on the well done side. Your wine looks so refreshing. Is that a sauvignon blanc because it's much too light in color to be a chardonnay.
Me: I'm not a chardonnay girl, it's a pinot (interrupted)
Guys: Ah yes, a pinot grigio is perfect on this hot summer day. What is your favorite label? Do you prefer old world or new world wines? I like Bordeaux blends but lately have been enjoying some Malbecs. I know they aren't preferable in this heat so sometimes I will open a bottle of rose and sip it on the porch.
Me: In the winter I'm a huge California Cab blend drinker and I love me a (interrupted)
Guys: Oh, have you been to the wine country? Stunning, simply stunning! You can just drive down a beautiful winding road and find a small family owned winery with the most amazing wine.......
Yeppers, you get the idea where this one-sided conversation is going. They either talked about food, wine, or places that revolved around food and wine. I barely got a word in and I'm used to dominating the conversation. So much so that some folks want to put a muzzle on me. I finished my healthy salad topped with my well done salmon and enjoyed every delicious drop of my pinot grigio. As I was paying the bill, my new friends were served dessert and asked for an extra spoon so I could join them. I politely declined, but I'm still trying to figure them out. Gay or Gourmet? What are your thoughts?