Friday, June 14, 2013

The Ultimate Sacrifice


We all make sacrifices in life. In starts when we are toddlers and our parents force us to share our favorite toy with some snotty nose kid so we can make friends. Then in high school you step back and let your BFF go out with the object of your affection while you are stuck goin' to the movies on a Saturday night with the class nerd 'cause ya ain't got nuthin' better to do. At your first real job you let some corporate climber walk all over you and take credit for your brilliant idea 'cause you haven't yet developed a back bone. You get the idea folks. When does it end? When do you decide enough is enough?

Well, the other day, my friend Grayson texted me and said "just realized it is your half birthday. Happy, Happy". DAMN, I forgot all about it. That means I'm 1/2 way through the year I turn fucking fifty. I decided right then and there, to forget about the same old, same old routine I've been doing. Time to take the bull by the horns. No more compromises and no more sacrifices for me!!! It's time this old bitch shake thangs up. I signed up for more Pure Barre classes even though my hamstrings are so sore I can barely walk up and down steps. The one ply sandpaper-like toilet paper that cheapo Uncle Jeffy bought has been deep sixed 'cause my wrinkly ass deserves bettah! I allowed myself an extra grande, decaf, nonfat, peppermint mocha this week 'cause to me they taste like an orgasm in a cup. The glorious sun beat down on my topless body without sunscreen or fear of shame 'cause it's my backyard and I own it (along with a generous mortgage from the bank). Hell, I even stayed up past my normal 8:45pm bedtime and watched a stupid Lifetime movie just to be a rebel. One day I went to the grocery store and indulged:
I really should have felt guilty when that lobster was trying to crawl his way to freedom in the seat beside me, but instead I felt empowered. In 6 short months I'll be hittin' a milestone birthday and I feel fantastic!!! So to you Mr. Crustacean, thank you for makin' the ultimate sacrifice for this old gal.

Dinnah was divine!!!!

18 comments:

  1. I count by 5's... I'm at the 1/2 way mark to 51, so that means this coming December I'll start telling everyone I'm 55... I'll be 55 until I'm 56 and then I start telling everyone I'm 60. I look FABULOUS for 55! Everyone says I look so young! (lol). By the time I get to actually be 55, it's old news and I'm used to it. I've been counting b-days like this since I was 26 to get ready for the big 3-0... It does wonders for my ego and vanity!

    Happy 1/2 Birthday to you... the lobster was a nice touch and looks delicious.

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  2. 50? You mean 35, because that is what you look like, sister

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  3. Only as old as you feel, sometimes that is way more than you want though

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  4. You look FAB to be almost 50!! Lobster is the best way to go to celebrate a 1/2 birthday. Good for you sweet lady.
    Have a wonderful weekend but do use some sunscreen!

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  5. they never had the courage to sell live lobster at one of the grocery stores I worked many years ago. They'd take it to the back and cook it themselves and then hand to the customer.

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  6. Lobster is blah to me, but can be a delicacy. So stuff it in a pot and go all half way to fifty hot to trot.

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  7. That's a delicious way to celebrate. Happy Half-Birthday!

    xoRobyn

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  8. Debster... Enjoy the Ride!!! Just "Keep on Keepin' on."

    Have a great weekend, Slu

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  9. I am having a peppermint mocha at this very moment. But I made it myself. It's what I have most mornings.

    I think you forgot to post the -other- pictures.

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  10. Sounds like you are ready to take on the world! And let me say, it's about time. Never too late, you know...

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  11. You look awesome so age is incidental. Funny thing about the age 50,,,half of the people look great, young and vibrant and the others look like great-great-great grandparents. I am approaching 60 and I will keep up my good outlook (I hope) as long as everything is working and staying where it is supposed to be.

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  12. You GO GIRL! Sometimes you just have to put things aside and LIVE! Why not? I'm not one for half birthdays since sometimes I have trouble remembering the actual, legit birthdays themselves.

    You're only as old as you feel so keep rockin it and kick some serious birthday ass. Please blog about it though so some of us can live vicariously thru you? Mkay? Please? :-)

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  13. I turned 50 five years ago.
    Ahhhh, the good old days!!!!!

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  14. He died for a greater good, I'm sure he would have agreed.

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  15. Only as old as you feel so live it up!
    www.mommysrambles.blogspot.com

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  17. Isn't 49 1/2 the new 35 1/2? I'm pretty sure it is cause I read it somewhere :)

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