Real style, real grace, real humor from a real redneck.
Friday, June 7, 2013
A Cunning Plan
Unless you've been livin' under a rock, you have heard the news blasted all over the media that Michael Douglas admitted his own battle with throat cancer may have been caused by HPV, the virus which comes from that delightful sport called cunnilingus. Never mind the fact that Mr. Douglas was a heavy drinker and smoker, both known causes of throat cancer, or that he publicly said he does not regret either of those habits. Instead, the actor has to go and do some sort of twisted personal PSA about oral sex causing throat cancer. DAMN, way to make it tough for all of us gals who enjoy a little tongue action Michael!!!! As if it isn't scary enough way back in middle school when they show ya pictures of private parts bein' eaten away by STDS, now some high powered Hollyweird type is goin' around sayin' he could have died drinkin' from the furry cup. Is nuthin' sacred anymore????
Personally I think this whole thang is part of some cunning plan to prove that Michael is straight despite the fact that he was PERFECTLY cast as Liberace in the movie "Behind the Candelabra". Really Michael, no one cares about your sexuality and whether you slipped Matt Damon the tongue for pleasure or just for the part. So please, go give lip service to some other worthy cause and just allow the general population to enjoy some good ol' fashioned muff diving without fear of the big C.