Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Doggie Delight

It's Wacky Wednesday time again, and I'll be doggone if my friend Rossie didn't find another local blogworthy news story for me. DANG, folks here in southeastern North Cackalacky have really gone to the dogs.
There's 24 year old Jeffrey Bynner, from the county right next door to where I live, who is charged with "unlawfully, willingly, and feloniously committing the abominable and detestable crime against nature with a Chihuahua dog". No other details are available other than he is currently not in the dog house, but still in the big house under a $10,000 bond. Well, Drop My Chalupa folks, 'cause all I can think about is the famous Taco Bell dog sufferin' through some rear entry at the hands of that beast.
Obviously Mr. Bynner takes that Yo Quiero Taco Bell (I want some Taco Bell) slogan pretty seriously. He wanted more than just the run of the mill dog meat served on the menu hey? That stuff makes me sick as a dog, hence my term of endearment "Taco Hell", for the hell it causes to my digestive system. Guess the dude was seriously jonesin' for some real doggie style action. Just imagine the size difference between Mr. Bynner's big burrito and the tiny tamales that little canine was used to feelin' in her taco. I can't help but think how truer words have never been spoken in a commercial when the Chihuahua said back in the day, "Uh Oh. I think I'm going to need a bigger box". That poor doggie's box is probably stretched to the size of a chimichanga after all that penetration.

At least we now know Mr. Bynner is takin' it like a dog with Bubba and the boys. Perhaps I will send him this poster to hang up in his cell to give him somethin' to dream about at night. After all, everybody has a movie star fantasy don't they?


Story: Here

28 comments:

  1. really, Debs, you often leave me speechless.....

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  2. Abominable and detestable crime against nature, the man is crazy.

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  3. No mas! No mas! I can't take anymore reading about these psycho bastards who violate animals. What the hell is wrong with people? Gah! I want to lock all of them into a cell and they can violate the heck out of each other. Sick bastards.

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  4. a dirty fish was all that was needed.

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  5. I guess he couldn't find a hornets nest, sicko.

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  6. From what I could gather, that guy has delusions of grandeur or something. Yuck.

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  7. I had a friend when I was in college whose dad was a doctor in Houston. They one time had a male patient who had to have a Chihuahua "removed," if you get my meaning.

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  8. One can only hope that "Bubba & the Boys" are having a Good Time "Breaking" the New Guy in...

    Have a great day, Slu

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  9. I don't believe the doggie took it doggie style. More likely, it gave Bynner's butthole a good rimming with its tongue.

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  10. Goodness me. I can't imagine what the poor dog went thru. Was it his dog or a neighbors? Because if it was his, I'm wondering how anyone found out about it. Unless he talked about it, got caught in the act or the dog had some strange injuries being treated at the vet, it may have happened more than once.

    Hopefully Bubba has a ginormous bone for his new little doggie.

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  11. That guy must have the tiniest dick in the world. Enough said.

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  12. WTF is wrong with folks?? I have seen several of these stories as of late. All these commercials that say "love your pets"are being taken WWWAAAAYYYY to literally.

    One of the things I like about your blog (among the many things, I like about your blog) is that you go where others are afraid to go and you do it so humorously.

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  13. How can I comment when my jaw has dropped?

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  14. Oh brother! Why do people keep doing things like this? Don't they know that they're going to get arrested and their mug shot is going to be spread far and wide on the internet? The internet if forever!

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  15. Sadly, not much surprises me, these days....

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  16. I guess he wanted to feel large?

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  17. Sick, is the only word I can come up with that is polite to say

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  18. As a guy who inherited a chihuahua (through marriage)... that guy must be working with a mosquito bite down there. I'm pretty sure a normal sized dick would murder a dog that small.

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