Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Turdball Tuesday

Yea I totally made up that title because some thangs are just too relevant to wait until Wacky Wednesday. So I'm thinkin' America's sweetheart Reese Witherspoon is a bit of a turdball after she and her high powered agent husband Jim Toth were arrested over the weekend in a DUI related incident in Atlanta. First of all, why do celebrities even get DUI's when they can certainly afford to hire drivers? Secondly, Mr. Toth was driving a Ford Fusion. HEEEEELLLLOOOOO, a freakin' Ford Fusion on his salary?????? That's like Kim Kardashian bein' forced to drive a Honda Civic. OH, THE HORROR!!!!!

Anyway, Mr. Toth was pulled over by the law dogs 'cause his swanky silver Ford was weavin' in and out of lanes. As the cops were dealin' with her husband, the demure southern belle was yellin' out the window that she didn't believe the cop was a real police officer. He told her to sit on her butt and be quiet. She then got out of the Ford Fusion (sorry I just can't help myself) and said she was a US Citizen and was allowed to stand on American ground. Good thang Reese is so patriotic 'cause that turdball move got her handcuffed. Of course when you're handcuffed it's always a good idear to start mouthin' off right? So, in an Oscar winning performance, the actress shouts at the officer, "do you know my name, you are about to find out who I am, you are going to be on national news". Yeppers, and so are YOU Reese 'cause you  wouldn't shut your pie hole, you became combative and got yourself arrested for disorderly conduct. Nice mug shot though.

In an attempt at good ol' southern hospitality, Reese's publicist had her release the following apology:

Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that was no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. The words I used that night definitely do not reflect who I am. I have nothing but respect for the police and I am very sorry for my behavior."

Not that I would know, but girl, maybe ya shoulda stuck with your signature hair color 'cause I hear blondes may have more fun. Them brunette types can be real scary bitches!

Story: Here

P.S. My hilarious and talented blogging friends Brandon Meyers and Bryan Pedas published yet another novel called Lost and Found, which is sure to be a big hit. For details check out A Beer for the Shower.

23 comments:

  1. So, just before the incident, were they in a bar lamenting their horrible life? I can see him now..."I don't even recognize US anymore. I mean, you're brunette! And we're driving a Ford! My life is meaningless!"

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  2. She should have remained Legally Blonde, beats illegally brunette.

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  3. I've seen the story around the web yesterday and had to read it thrice because I couldn't believe 1. that her hubs looks like that 2. that Reese got herself in such a mess
    What's next? Amy Adams being arrested for robbing a booze store? KStew getting a Harward degree? The horror...

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  4. I'd heard that she was arrested, but I didn't know why. Jeez, you'd think celebs would know better by now.

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  5. I have to admit i was very disappointed. She's the golden girl who is sweet and has good reputation. Its kinda good to know that she's like the most of us with a wild streak. I do hate it though when celebs scream do you know who i am! That is crazy cocky.

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  6. How would anyone know who she was...with that mousy brown hair color.
    Katie atBankerchick Scratchings

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  7. Personally, I'd GIVE MY LEFT NUT to have Reese Witherspoon intoxicated in handcuffs. Just sayin'.

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  8. Unbelievable how many celebrities think they are above the law. I blame this on all of the leniency given to Lindsy Lohan, who really is a menace to society.

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  9. She doesn't look too bad for a mugshot - eyes lowered like a modest lady and her chin looks less triangular than usual. That trooper is a real snitch for telling everyone what she said just for entertainment. Is there a paypal account we can tip him?

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  10. I'd figure the only cops she met before had removable uniforms

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  11. "definitely do not reflect who I am." And yet those "who I am" words came right out of your mouth... lol

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  12. I hadn't gotten the whole scoop on the poop of the story, until reading the condensed version here. I am in total agreement about the celebs having the cash to hire a driver. You know? Someone SOBER!

    Hell most of the cab companies around my parts will give you a ride home for FREE if you are too messed up to be behind the wheel. No questions asked, so no excuses for this crap from them or anyone else. Period!

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  13. I was definitely going to say something about her hair. Just doesn't fit to me! Damn the Atlanta Airport for not being able to provide them with their requested BMW or Mercedes vehicle. Gawsh. Good reason to get drunk! haha..

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  14. I hadn't caught the fact, that Toth was driving a Ford Fusion. Seriously??? Not that I have anything against Fusions but these people are rich.

    The thing that got me about the story is her statement "I clearly had one drink too many"....Can Reese not count??? There was way more than one too many.

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  15. I guess you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.
    NOTE: I have no idea where Reese was raised. But, it sounds pretty "trailer park" to me.

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  16. She sure made herself look like the hoity toity bitch she played in Sweet Home Alabama with this stunt.

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  17. What? She's too good to look at the camera for a mug shot? She looks like my neighbor in that pic. Ford Fusion and all.

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  18. I always laugh at those public apologies. They are so lame. haha

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