Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Who Would Kick Out Sponge Bob?

It's Wacky Wednesday time again folks, and ya know sometimes ya don't have to look any further than your own crazy life to find the wackiest stories. So this past weekend Ry Guy and I traveled to Raleigh, the big capital city of North Cackalacky, for a special celebration. My boy was a winnah of the State Young Author's Contest, which is a purty damn big deal, and his poem Gridirion Glory is now published in a book. If you want to read his entry, check it out Here.

Our Friday night plans included meeting our good friends Raven and Josh at Ry Guy's favorite Brazilian steak house to eat meat until the cows came home. Dinner was a huge success. Then we went back to our FAV Embassy Suites to get tucked in for the evening. Now I do love me an Embassy Suites because of the free cocktail hour and complimentary breakfast. This particular Embassy Suites is very sleek and modern and we have stayed there quite frequently. However, that does not diminish the fact that the clientele at breakfast still usually rolls straight outta bed to stand in line for their made to order omelet. The last time I stayed at this hotel there were people eating breakfast in all kinds of ratty sleepwear, so I figured when in Rome, do as the Romans do right?
 Uh, not so fast. When I handed my breakfast ticket to the nice attendant, she took one look at my Sponge Bob pajama pants and toasty toe slippers and said, "Ma'am you have to have shoes on to eat. What the hell????? The 11 month pregnant dude in front of me with his stained tank top straining to cover his belly button is allowed to eat a dozen free pastries but I'm denied entry??? Sponge Bob was clearly offended. Ry Guy was so completely embarrassed and kept saying, "Mom, I can't believe you got kicked out of breakfast. How did you manage to get kicked out of breakfast"? It really does take some special kind of talent I suppose. Seriously, I thought I was doin' everyone a favor by puttin' on a bra so my tits wouldn't get lost in that huge vat of oatmeal. Plus, my Sponge Bob PJ's are the only sleepwear I own without holes in the crotch. Clearly I was dressin' up for the occasion.

Sadly, I was forced to go back upstairs and put on the same clothes I wore the night before just to eat a 7 minute meal, while watchin' some 350 pounder with her ass crack hangin' out over her size too small "PINK" sleepwear from Victoria's Secret push and shove her way through the hot buffet line to snag all the bacon and sausage.


All's well that ends well though 'cause I can clean up purty good. We made it to the ceremony on time, and I got to see my boy walk across the stage and receive his medal and book. Sponge Bob woulda been proud.

21 comments:

  1. Thats crazy! I travel with my job so much and i see young girls in their socks all the time in the buffet line. They were being very picky! Congrats on your son's award, that is so awesome. You do look so pretty!

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  2. We love an Embassy Suites. That's really saying something, that you got kicked out of breakfast. Don't know if that's ever happened before. Poor Ry Guy. The humiliation. :)
    You both look FINE once all cleaned up, though. Congrats to him!

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  3. Congrats to you son!!! So creativity runs in your family, huh?

    I am surprised that slippers don't score as appropriate footwear in today's world. Given what I see at the Walmart anything up to and including thongs and pasties might be considered a fashion ensemble.

    I hate that Ry Guy was embarrassed but really...it's just good practice. He will be totally used to being embarrassed by you by the time he is grown and has his own kids who are mortified by their parents.

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  4. Spongebob pants only grants you the right to eat at the Krusty Krab.

    Congrats to your son

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  5. HAHA! Love this. My GF and I were just talking about this. We have a thing against people going to breakfast like that in nice hotels. But I like you so I would let you slide.

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  6. Awh great event and story. Sorry you got picked on. Those rules are always less in favor of the descent citizens than the 'poor-kers' who 'bend' the rules and get away with it.

    CONGRATULATIONS TO RY-GUY!!!!!!!!!!! and of course to You and UJ, too!!! The way I see it, any award, medal or congratulatory measure bestowed on a child while under age is equally bestowed on the head of the parents! (That Rule works in reverse but with the negative outcome also.)

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  7. LOL I've seen people in line in bare feet get fed. Clearly they are spongebob haters. Congrats to your son too!

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  8. Did you at least use the fds before joining the free hog and chicken sperm line???

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  9. Never allow a fatty to grab all the sausage.

    Just sayin'.

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  10. That's just all sorts of wrong. Damn disgruntled buffet employees, Spongebob rocks!! :D

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  11. What I want to know is why would the cows come home if they knew what you were eating? If I was a cow, I'd be staying pretty far away.

    And awesome for your son!

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  12. Congrats for your son and that's pretty friggn messed up, I would have thrown some chum at those asshats not letting you eat without shoes!

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  13. Absolute Congrats to your Son: Bravo!!!

    I guess "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" is clearly the standard at that particular ES... :-(

    Enjoyed, Slu

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  14. That is so dench for your son.

    I would have been miffed and likely told the attendant- "You're lucky I'm wearing these. Consider the alternative..." That might have struck a serious cord and changed their judgemental thoughts. Or not.

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  15. That's awesome! Your baby has talent, I really enjoyed reading his poem. Thanks for sharing proud mother that you are. :)

    And I don't know why they're hating on Sponge Bob...I think the attendant was jealous that he/she couldn't wear them. :(

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  16. Congrats to your on and he does live under the sea, maybe they think he's too polluted.

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  17. You should have said, "These aren't slippers. These are designer shoes with a cutting edge design," and acted really offended.

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  18. Congrats! And love the crazy socks :)

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  19. Congrats to your son!! And how dare that lady take all of the bacon and sausage!!

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  20. Speaking of Brazilian steakhouses...a couple years ago, Mrs. Penwasser and I went to one. In the course of the meal, she wound up getting a piece of meat stuck in her esophagus (true story). Imagine the reactions I got when I told people that she "got meat stuck in her throat."
    Technically, not her throat, but that wouldn't have sounded as funny.
    BTW, Squidward would kick SpongeBob's ass.
    Really sad that I even know who Squidward is.

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