Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Red Hot Ladies of the Evening

Welcome to another edition of Wacky Wednesday folks, where today's story is both triumphant and sad. Triumphant in the sense that the two ladies you are going to hear about had such a long and highly successful career, but sad just the same 'cause it's time they turn off the red light and close their legs. As they say, "all good thangs but come to an end", and unfortunately for Amsterdam's two oldest prostitutes, it's time to stop bangin' it out.
Yes folks, Louise and Martine Fokkens, 70 year old twin sisters who have been turnin' tricks for over 50 years, and who have slept with over 355,000 men between them, have decided to retire. Louise stated that arthritis has made some sexual positions too painful. Come on girl, don't go celibate, get some Celebrex!!! I pity all the poor dudes who are missin' out on the amazing opportunity to fulfill their twin fantasy. Plus, there goes any hope of a two-fer deal.
Quite honestly I think women everywhere should spread their legs in appreciation and thank these gals for doin' the dirty work for all of us. Just think of all the nasty guys they satisfied so the rest of us didn't have to. Case in point, Martine admits that even though she is retiring she can't give up one elderly John who comes to her for his weekly S&M session. I'll help you blow out the candles on your penis shaped retirement cake for keepin' that gem Martine!!
And like all smart business women, they do have a decent retirement plan. These ladies of the evening were the subject of a documentary last year, and they just recently wrote a book about their sexual escapades. Hopefully the royalties from both of those ventures will keep them honest for awhile. However, if they need to supplement their income, they could use their best asset, which is now mighty pliable, to stash away all kinds of goodies in exchange for cold hard cash. Imagine the amount of bricks of cocaine they could smuggle in for the drug lords. Hell, illegal immigrants could even cross over the border inside those stretched out vajayjays, 'cause seriously, who is gonna stop and search two little ol' sweeties? So congrats to you Fokkens twins on a stellar career, and may your golden years be filled with as many ups, downs, backs, forths, ins, outs, and screamin' good times as were your workin' days.

Story: Here



34 comments:

  1. You just gave me a great idea of how to supplement my retirement in a few years.

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  2. Hahaha...I had this story on my list for my odd news roundup on Friday but I doubt that I could come close to doing it justice compared to your version. Hilarious.

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  3. 355,000 damn! They sure must have raked in the dough with each, can't resist, blow.

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  4. Dang, how do they even still keep count?! They are 2 interesting characters indeed.

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  5. those ladies have some serious spirit! There are countries which don't have that many men.... nor women....

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  6. Ewwww.....

    All of a sudden, Betty White seems a WHOLE LOT more attractive...

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  7. Go girls! What a riot. And where, just where, do you find this stuff? "doin' the dirty work for all of us. Just think of all the nasty guys they satisfied so the rest of us didn't have to." My fav line!

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  8. Sorry, my mind stopped working at 355,000...

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  9. Hello! I read your comment about bleaching the ceiling for mold. I have mold over the shower and the ceiling is real high up.. is it safe to put a blanket in the shower floor? I can't reach that area very well.. Though I have to be careful with bleach since the walls are light green.

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  10. Is their book called 355,000 Shades of Grey?

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  11. Damn!

    Over 355,000? I take it there were no repeat customers and those were all separate occurrances?

    Sloppy seconds almost doesn't seem quite so bad in comparison.

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  12. Ok, I am about to puke! hahahahaha. Are these the types that Ruben painted in the 17th Century? Just saying..........

    Thanks for your fun (as always) comment to me today on my HOT pink couture. hahhahaha (hug)

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  13. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but....for a BRIEF second, I wondered......
    Hey, I'm almost 55 and I'm not made of stone, ya know.
    Plus, they were probably pretty hot before electricity.

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  14. Well, it sounds like it was their choice to do this and considering how long they kept it up for...

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  15. No one can say they don't have the experience.

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  16. Wow, fifty years on the job! I hope they didn't get screwed on their superannuation. (pun intended)

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  17. Sadly, I DID both of them on my trip over there last year. They have a LOOOOOG waiting list. I did them over the balcony over looking the botanical gardens. They were a lovely pair.....of pairs...or was that their bellies, could have been their beef curtins.

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  18. 355,000 men... I think I threw up in my mouth a little. That's more than half of the population of Denver. How do you even keep track of that? Do they print receipts?

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