Friday, March 8, 2013

Jail Bait

Today I need to thank my Facebook friend Holli for givin' me the scoop on this kick ass story. I really hate to crack a joke about this situation, but some homeless butt head named David Olienyk, gives a twisted new meaning to the term jail bait. Ya see, at a Greyhound bus station in Dallas on Saturday, this asshole took his own bite out of crime by biting a 16 year old girl on the butt. Apparently he had been following her around for awhile and then decided to go ahead and bite the bullet. What an asinine thang to do hey? While the poor girl was screaming and crying, the ass wipe stood there laughing and said, "it was worth it". WHOA, now that's a biting comment. I imagine Mr. Olienyk is a butt man and he liked those tight, firm buns of steel on that pretty young thang. However, old and saggy, or young jail bait, it all tastes like ass.

Well, it didn't take investigators long to crack the case, and now the butt ugly dude is in the slammer on assault charges. What a shame he couldn't even crack a smile for his mug shot. Wonder if he will bring up the rear in the chow line and tell everyone to butt out when he rips into his rump roast? Rumor has it the other prisoners have already nicknamed him "rump"elstiltskin.

I imagine the girl's parents don't wanna turn the other cheek, but would prefer to open up a can of whoop ass on this guy and tell him to bite the big one. Although it's gonna be a pain in the ass for the girl to see this crack head in court again, I just hope she's not gonna be once bitten, twice shy.

Story: Here

18 comments:

  1. I KNEW the second i read that ,i had to get this to you! I wouldnt have believed it if i hadnt seen it come from the actual news channel. The news even said Sadly this is for real and not the Onion. The poor girl was visiting from another state. We to go and give a big Texas welcome!!

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  2. Oh, I expected a story on those mutant rats as big as cats which are infesting Bagdad in Iraq and have population of 25 million. So big that army snipers have to shoot them down since poison doesn't work on them.... I know you like such stories, sister :)

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    1. oh, and they're so big because of all the poison that American army had dropped on Iraqi people in recent decades.... Horror....

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  3. There are definitely freaks that walk among us but rarely do they bite us in the ass... at least not literally. What an idiot.
    He has a certain Hannibal Lecter look about him.

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  4. My goodness! That is a weird story and a weird guy, no rather a dog!

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  5. I couldn't help but think of Forrest Gump when reading this. His voice is in my head, repeating, "In the buttox" the whole time.

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  6. Man, now I'm gonna have to go shave...:(

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  7. Hmm which one got the ass end of things? The cops sure took a bite out of crime as they locked him away.

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  8. You're a punny lady today. Butt WTF?

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  9. they caught him lying through his teeth.

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  10. Ah, there's a plethora of butt related humour out there for this one, isn't there.

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  11. Could have just been a mistake, he was just looking for a useable cigarette butt.

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  12. I'm just wondering about the "face-mask" in the pic??? Does he need that for his "bite" area??? Crazy... Slu

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  13. This is so insanely random! Who just bites some random person on the ass?!

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  14. Yuck. Does crime get any weirder? The Guy needs a muzzle.

    ......dhole

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