DANG, this is the third time Willard Scott has come to my door 'cause today is my 300th blog post. WHOO HOO!!! I must say I still haven't gotten used to that dude ringin' my doorbell or seein' my picture on that Smucker's jar. Maybe by the time I hit the 1,000th post the hoopla will become old hat.
So today in celebration of the big event, I thought I would entertain you with my answers to some of the questions the delightfully hilarious, and always entertaining Menopausal Mother has challenged me with. Sure hope I can make her proud, as well as give y'all some more insight into who I really am. Here goes:
Where were you born?
Between my Mama's legs, and believe me, it wasn't purty.
If you have children, how many do you have?
Two boys, affectionately nicknamed Yale and Jail.
How many pets do you have?
One crazy yellow lab named Casey. Good thang she's cute 'cause there ain't much between the ears.
Your worst injury?
One time after a few too many shots of Botox I got the dreaded eye droop, so I looked like I either had Bell's Palsy, or like I was perpetually drunk for a couple of weeks. Not one to be deterred from a more youthful appearance, I'm still a faithful user of that glorious poison.
Do you have a special talent?
I can fart loud enough to break the sound barrier.
Would you bungee jump?Only after Ryan Reynolds made sweet passionate love to me so that I was literally taking my victory swan dive.
What is the first thing you notice about people?
Whether they are full of shit or not. My gut instinct is usually right on.
Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.
Debosas (champagne with a splash of mimosa), Cabernet and Sauvignon Blanc. Hope you weren't expectin' somethin' boring like water.
What song do you want played at your funeral?
First of all, my funeral will be termed a life celebration 'cause I want my friends to have a rockin' good time when they remember me. So, several years ago I started keepin' a list of all songs I want played at the big PAR-TAY. It's up to 3 pages long right now and includes everything from "Boogie Shoes" by KC & The Sunshine Band to "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas.
What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
I hold a grudge FOREVAH. I'm still pissed at some bitch from middle school who wouldn't help me one day when I threw up in the bathroom.
What do you look for in a friend?
Someone who doesn't have a stick up their ass and knows how to have F-U-N.
What's the last thing that made you laugh?
My answer to the talent question, because sadly it's true. Ask the poor dudes who have the pleasure of livin' with me.
Image via Google Images