Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Oh No it's Camel Toe

 
 
It's Wacky Wednesday time again, and today I might offend some folks, while others might simply shake their heads and say TMI. But y'all will have to forgive me here 'cause I ain't firin' on all cylinders lately. It all started over Christmas when I gained a few extra el bees from all of the holiday indulgences. I was doin' purty well gettin' off the extra weight when my Dad got sick. I'm a serious stress eater so that derailed the diet plan. Then the damn thin mints were delivered and all hell broke loose. Those girl scouts are sneaky little bitches. Lemme tell ya, eatin' a box a day ain't real good for the waist line, and hence, thangs in my closet ain't fittin' the way they used to.


Fairly accurate representation of my workout gear

 Even though I've been waking up in a fog due to lack of sleep worrying about my Dad, I do still try to hit the gym to get the endorphins flowin'. Obviously I didn't give myself the once over in the mirror before I left today, but I did notice a few dudes checkin' out little Lucy. At first I thought I may have had somethin' on my pants, but I found out soon enough what those nasty boys were lookin' at when I went into the ladies room. Glarin' back at me in the full length mirror was my life size camel toe. Holy Shit I could have put a saddle on that sucker and charged admission for rides on my crotch. 

Good news is the incident was a wake up call 'cause I certainly don't wanna end up with a full on moose knuckle. This may be the motivation I need to zip my lip and move my ass. Plus, I only have two, three, four, oh hell who's counting, boxes of thin mints to consume before they are all gone til next year.
 
So until those unwanted pounds magically melt away, I'm gonna keep pullin' an Erin Andrews and wear pants two sizes too small and rock my camel toe with pride. Hey, that chick does it every week on national TV for college game day and earns a damn good livin' so there must be somethin' to it hey?
 
 
Images via Google Images

 
 


29 comments:

  1. LOL!!! Sadly, it really does look like a moose knuckle, hehe!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL a camel toe.... I've just learnt a new expression... don't know if I really need it... but let us not be picky :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL what they hell let the camel toe flow

    ReplyDelete
  4. LMOA!!!! Erin Andrews should have a friend that would tell her before she appeared on TV. It's just wrong! My friends would say something...I think ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. HAHA!! Great post. And you're the only other person I know that uses the term "el bees." HA!

    ReplyDelete
  6. And this is why i love you!! Just let it all hang out girl and rock your camel toe or any kind of toe for that matter!

    ReplyDelete
  7. lmao.... That is just terrible, but you go right ahead and rawk that thang, lol ... :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. God bless you. Next time POST THE DAMN THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. A full on moose knuckle? I haven't heard that one before. Thanks for educat'n me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A moose knuckle big enough to hide a flying squirrel.
      "Nothing up my sleeve...presto!!!!! Now, as far as my trousers..."

      Delete
  10. Let me EDUCATE YOU A LITTLE FURTHER - A "Moose Knuckle" is the MALE VERSION of a Camel Toe, so unless you've eaten enough Thin Mints to GROW A PENIS, I think you'll be o.k.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heff, apparently there is 2 schools of thought over the term "moose knuckle". While I was doing research for this post, I found out that while some folks do indeed use the term to describe the male version of camel toe, others use the term for really fat chicks with large camel toe. At the rate I'm goin' growing a penis is probably not too far outta the picture. LOL!!!

      Delete
    2. I thought the male version was "Two Eggs and a Lincoln Log In a Sock."
      And who says you can't learn anything on the internet?

      Delete
    3. Huh. Webster's Dictionary Of Really Disgusting Shit only mentions the male variety, but FUCK, everything on the internet is CORRECT.

      Good luck with your new penis. I fucking LOVE MINE, LMAO !!!

      Delete
    4. IF you grow a penis, Heff will be the first to let you pack it into the ol' puckered starfish just to say that he saw you naked!

      Delete
  11. One would think a person who will be on national television would have wardrobe people point this out to her. lol Unless she's just a horrible bitch and it's an inside joke with everyone behind the scenes. lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hahahahaha! And uuuuuugh all at the same time. Get three of your friends and go as a whole camel? Can't say I've ever heard of a moose knuckle before. I learn so much reading blogs.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't think that is a great look as looks go but more importantly that has to hurt. I am not thinking a wedgie up the vagi is something that I could tolerate without some public clothing tugs.

    ReplyDelete
  14. That first picture looked like a sexy bottle of Pepto-Bismol.
    Okay, I admit it. I hit enlarge on that picture of Erin Andrews....
    It wasn't the only thing which got enlarged.
    Hey, you started TMI first!

    ReplyDelete
  15. The camel called...it wants its toe back.

    ReplyDelete
  16. um... I have no response to this.
    I really want to have a response, but my mind went blank.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Damn thin mints. I just tweeted about them. Thin my ass. Thick Mints. I also just tweeted this post bc the term moose knuckles has always been one of my faves.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I decided to go commando in a pair of yoga pants while jogging a couple months ago, and found the dreaded situation where I kept having to tug my pants down, as they were riding up into cam toe position. Of course I picked the direction to run with everyone on the path coming towards me!

    ReplyDelete
  19. It is nearly midnight at my region and it dawned on me that I hadn't seen my "JKIRF post o' the day" so I head on over and get a "full" analysis of you and your obsession with thin mints! LOL. Um, isn't that an oxymoron: "THIN" mints?

    ReplyDelete
  20. What you call not firing on all cylinders I call comedy gold, but that's because I'm a man-child and it's easy to make me laugh. Forget two sizes too small. Wear three sizes too small. People should be able to see cervix.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yeah the less moose knuckles, the better the world is

    ReplyDelete
  22. Awh, Deb, Thank you. You is such a nice un to lil' ol' me! (hug)to you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. workout gear is the worst! It's hard NOT to get a camel toe from most yoga pants.

    ReplyDelete
  24. LMAO @ ABFtS!

    Girl, you rock that camel with pride. I always make sure before I leave the house. That, and it's just not comfy.

    ReplyDelete