All smiles pre-partyNot to worry folks. I wasn't a member of either the red or black team, and Jillian Michaels didn't break me down and kick my ass into shape on the ranch. Instead, I was a big fat loser of a different kind. Ya see, every year in Wilmington, North Cackalacky where I live, a local publication named Encore puts out its "Best Of" issue. Readers vote on 100 categories covering everything from best restaurant, best car wash, best spa and even best blog. Last year I won the coveted title of Best Blog 2012, and I'll be damned if I didn't wanna defend my title again this year baby!
You hate me, you really hate me!So, on Saturday night the top 3 nominees in each category were invited to attend the annual "Best Of" party which is a rockin' good time!!!! A fabulous time was had by all until it was time to announce the WINNAH in my category of Best Blog. Whoever said, "it is an honor just to be nominated" is full of shit. Let's face it folks, everyone wants to hear their name as the WINNAH, 'cause winning is the only thang that matters in life. No one wants to pull a Susan Lucci. When my name was not announced as the Best Blog WINNAH, I felt like the biggest idiot standin' there with all of my friends who came out to cheer me on and support me for the evening. Seriously, who wants to hang out with a loser who has to put on a fake smile and pretend they are happy just to be nominated? So I didn't. Instead, I threw a big ol' temper tantrum and opened up a can of whoop ass on the bastards who now have their name engraved on that prized plaque.
I seriously pulled out all the stops to secure votes in the months prior to the awards ceremony. Short of turnin' tricks, I begged, bribed and bugged my friends to death to get them to vote for me. Hell, I even contacted friends of friends, mere acquaintances, and Uncle Jeffy's co-workers and offered them my next born child if they would cast a vote in my favor. Dang, I had a gut feelin' that I shoulda hit the streets late night and used some other talents to really bring in the votes from a different sort of population. Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda hey?
LOSER!!!!!!!!The powers that be were kind enough to inform me that I came in a close second. PUUUULLLLEEEAAASSSSEEE people, close only counts in horseshoes, bocce ball and hand grenades. We ain't playin' those kinda games. We playin' for the "Best Of" and I didn't make the cut. Remember folks, it ain't how ya play the game that counts, it's whether you WIN or lose, and I'm the biggest loser.
For those of you who have been faithful readers of my blog, you know this post was written in jest with my normal weird and wacky humor. Thank you so much to all of my Wilmington friends who voted for my blog and who have supported me this year. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!