Monday, February 4, 2013

I'm The Biggest Loser

All smiles pre-party
Not to worry folks. I wasn't a member of either the red or black team, and Jillian Michaels didn't break me down and kick my ass into shape on the ranch. Instead, I was a big fat loser of a different kind. Ya see, every year in Wilmington, North Cackalacky where I live, a local publication named Encore puts out its "Best Of" issue. Readers vote on 100 categories covering everything from best restaurant, best car wash, best spa and even best blog. Last year I won the coveted title of Best Blog 2012, and I'll be damned if I didn't wanna defend my title again this year baby!

You hate me, you really hate me!
So, on Saturday night the top 3 nominees in each category were invited to attend the annual "Best Of" party which is a rockin' good time!!!! A fabulous time was had by all until it was time to announce the WINNAH in my category of Best Blog. Whoever said, "it is an honor just to be nominated" is full of shit. Let's face it folks, everyone wants to hear their name as the WINNAH, 'cause winning is the only thang that matters in life. No one wants to pull a Susan Lucci. When my name was not announced as the Best Blog WINNAH, I felt like the biggest idiot standin' there with all of my friends who came out to cheer me on and support me for the evening. Seriously, who wants to hang out with a loser who has to put on a fake smile and pretend they are happy just to be nominated? So I didn't. Instead, I threw a big ol' temper tantrum and opened up a can of whoop ass on the bastards who now have their name engraved on that prized plaque.

I seriously pulled out all the stops to secure votes in the months prior to the awards ceremony. Short of turnin' tricks, I begged, bribed and bugged my friends to death to get them to vote for me. Hell, I even contacted friends of friends, mere acquaintances, and Uncle Jeffy's co-workers and offered them my next born child if they would cast a vote in my favor. Dang, I had a gut feelin' that I shoulda hit the streets late night and used some other talents to really bring in the votes from a different sort of population. Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda hey?
LOSER!!!!!!!!
The powers that be were kind enough to inform me that I came in a close second. PUUUULLLLEEEAAASSSSEEE people, close only counts in horseshoes, bocce ball and hand grenades. We ain't playin' those kinda games. We playin' for the "Best Of" and I didn't make the cut. Remember folks, it ain't how ya play the game that counts, it's whether you WIN or lose, and I'm the biggest loser.

For those of you who have been faithful readers of my blog, you know this post was written in jest with my normal weird and wacky humor. Thank you so much to all of my Wilmington friends who voted for my blog and who have supported me this year. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

21 comments:

  1. Well, damn!Make your own plaque inscribed with "Close Second 2013".

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  2. well, you're always a winner to us, sister!

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  3. Wait, your town has a magazine that hosts an awards ceremony and has categories such as Best Blog? I wish we had one of those here. We'd sweep them every year, probably because no one else in this 10,000 person cow town has a blog. Or knows what a blog is. Also probably why this magazine/ceremony will never exist.

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    1. My situation is similar to ABFTS. If I saw a blog awards show at my city, my jaw would drop.

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  4. Damn, you should have took some of that booze and got all the announcers drunk. Then went up and announced yourself the winner haha

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  5. Let's just go with the idea that the ween-er did "bang bang" for the prize. I guess next year if you do some investigating and find out they were indeed turning tricks for votes, you should start a rumor that the new strain of STDs going around is on them.

    BTW...does the size of the fine print thanking your supporters indicate the size of your sincerity. Just curious.

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  6. Yay hilarious Deb, I love you! I really love that open mouth expression pic!!!! So funny. I would have voted for you. Fo sho!!!

    I think my Dog has a problem between the ears, too. HM and I term it "peanut brain".

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  7. Too funny. Can your followers vote for you?

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  8. I'm sorry you missed out this year =[

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  9. Well, technically not the BIGGEST since there was that person that came in third. So you're just a big loser.
    :P

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  10. Seriously, though, that's pretty cool. I want to be nominated.

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  11. Cool. So has anyone ever recognized you from your blog?

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  12. I don't think I could do a blog awards thingy. I'd be all crazy competitive, but for real :P

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  13. Congratulations on 2nd place!! Thats still awesome.

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  14. But....
    was there drinking involved?

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  15. Awe that really sucks ... I love what Ricky Bobby always said " if ur not first, ur last" ;) You should have won that, maybe it was rigged. are we even sure the winnah even has a blog?!! sheesh!! Those people in North Cackalacky are wacky ;)

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  16. I'm pretty competitive, so I understand your disappointment. That being said, your blog rocks and you're a winner to all of us :)

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  17. That would be kind of sucky. You'll nail em next year when you pull out all the stops.

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  18. hey Deb! You can have those sexy socks all you want for you and Uncle Jeffy to enjoy. Love make the world go round! I heard a radio psychologist say once that a good marriage is one where the woman is the madonna in the living room and a prostitute in the bedroom! Now I didn't say "Madonna", but more a saintly religious woman. Man, I stop while I'm ahead. LOL

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  19. Going just by the pictures, it looked like you had fun.

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  20. So where's the picture of the winner? Anyway, you should have got the prize for the best pose for the camera. The open-mouthed one is scarier than the pouting one, but both of them are damn sexy to a jungle dwelling fella like me.

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