Monday, December 10, 2012

Kookie Kardashian Cookies

This past Saturday was one of my favorite holiday events of the year-Dirty DIAAAAANA's annual cookie exchange. Believe me, this ain't your Mama's kinda cookie exchange folks. First of all, someone either has to move to China or die before you get on the coveted invite list. I'm proud to say I knocked someone off several years ago in order to score that golden ticket baby. Every year is a theme, and ya better bring your "A game" 'cause these chicks are in it to win it.

The Kardashian Cookie Klan

The theme this year was "Kardashian Family Tree" and you were to come prepared to explain how you fit into that famous family. Of course you also need to bake cookies to exchange with the other 30 ladies, but everyone knows the party ain't about the damn cookies. As expected, there were several Kims with ample assets, a Kris, a couple of Roberts and loser Scotts, the requisite paparazzi, and a personal trainer of course. A plastic surgeon named Dr. Ivanta Bigrack, from Austria, even made a special appearance to put to rest those nasty rumors about whether or not Kim had butt implants. Although there was no foreign material seen on the x-ray, he concluded that previous intermittent penetration from non-USA citizens could not be excluded.

Now lemme tell ya, several chicks got really creative this year, thought outside the box and really nailed it!!! For example, one woman strapped a cooler to her ass and filled it with pictures of all of Kim's ex's to depict "junk in the truck". Elvis was even there to stir the pot about Khloe's paternity. However, some might say other folks were smokin' a little too much ganja when they were thinkin' up their little skit, 'cause anyone ever hear of Kris Kardashian havin' an affair with Bob Marley and producin' 3 illegitimate kids? Uh Yea, neither has anyone else in the world. Or how about Kate Middleton actually bein' the offspring of Robert Kardashian and Kate's Mum after a one night stand? Someone was eatin' some kookie cookies fo' sho!!!!! Good thang it's all in good fun hey?

Now even though I wasn't the only OJ Simpson at the PAR-TAY, I did manage to pull out 3rd place with this little diddy:

Yo, I'm OJ Simpson, a famous football player.

Some say Kris Jenner and I had an affair.
We was best friends back in the day.
As for foolin' around, I ain't gonna say.
Rumor has it, I'm Khloe's biological Dad.
I've been called worse, so that ain't so bad.
I'm takin' the 5th on how I fit into the Kardashian family tree.

But it don't take no genius for your eyes to see,
That Khloe don't look like the rest of the clan.
Hell, that chick kinda look like a man.
Remember her "Dad" Robert was my attorney in that famous case.
On those murder charges he was the dream team ace.
'Cause if the glove don't fit,

Ya gotta acquit!
But now I'm doin' hard time for some trouble in sin city.
When I drop the soap, there ain't no time for bein' witty.


  1. haha loved the rhyme and wow I never knew there were such events anywhere. Very creative indeed.

  2. That is a cookie exchange I could get behind. So creative, and so fun! I'm sure you rocked the diddy.

  3. You look a little less murdery than OJ, but I think you pulled it off. Why is there not Youtube footage of you laying down those rhymes?

  4. LMFAO at your rap! Girl, you good!!! That's right OJ. Keep a tight grip on that soap or something. I loved Dr. Ivanta Bigrack. I agree with Beer above. Put that up on YouTube!

  5. Deb! awesome post! that party group looks like they are fun and crazy (kind of a Halloween/Christmas party) I LOVE IT ALL!!!!

    (funny you think timberlake is always dirty, that made me laugh) i'm neither here nor there on him. OPINION, that is, opinion. LOL

  6. How FUN! We do a New Year's Eve Party each year with a theme. This year I crashed and burned and haven't got one yet!

  7. FRICKIN AWESOME!!! How fun was that?! I want to go with you next year. I love themed parties and especially ones with tons of cookies involved. The rap is perfect!

  8. Cool top picture.
    But I don't like to stand that close to a Nutcracker.
    If you know what I mean.

  9. You have the most fun! I love this idea, theme, costumes and all! Plus you get cookies to there's that bonus.

  10. That was a fun and original poem. Loved it. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

  11. Ha...cookies as a plan for party!

  12. I think i would have LOVED to come to this party!!!