Thursday, December 20, 2012

Fulfillin' My Dreams


Hey folks, does anyone know what time the world is supposed to end tomorrow? I have crucial plans to get my hair did at 10am, and there ain't no way in hell I'm goin' to the next phase of my life with all these gray hairs sproutin' all over my head. I need my monthly color and highlights ya know before I will feel truly comfortable. Otherwise, when I'm taken I'll be in that unsettled middle place where I'll be wanderin' around what's left of this earth spookin' any survivors with my ghostly apparition.

So how are all of you spending your last day on the planet? Are you using your time wisely, or are you not payin' much attention to the matter and goin' on with your life as usual?


As for me, yesterday I got a facial 'cause I thought my skin should look nice and purty when I meet my maker. And since today is supposedly my last day of livin', I'm gonna do it up right and fulfill all of my unfilled fantasies. I'm hittin' the social media sites to try to set up a threesome with Brad Pitt and George Clooney. I figure I got nuthin' to lose since a big ol' asteroid is gonna destroy the earth tomorrow, so if I'm humiliated, who cares? I'm also puttin' out the feelers for uber hot Ryan Reynolds. Ya know my life long fantasy is to be a cougar, and I can't think of a more perfect cub to make me MEOW like a big ol' kitty cat during my last and final romp.

I got all of my favorite Kid Rock songs loaded and ready to play, and my very favorite wine, Swanson Alexis, will be my drink of choice to lick off Ryan's rock hard abs later tonight. He looks more like a beer kinda guy though, but maybe he will indulge me.

Now as I'm waitin' for my suitors to come a callin', I thought I would go ahead and fulfill another lifelong dream, that being to dress up as a restaurant mascot for a few hours and have a helluva good time cavorting with the customers. Since nobody would know who I was, just imagine the kind of trouble I could drum up inside that giant purple suit.

So folks, if this is indeed your final 24 hours, I hope you do something grand and make it a day to remember!  Assuming those deliciously naughty boys take off my handcuffs and restraints, I would so enjoy reading your comments on how you plan to spend your last day on this here earth of ours!!!

Images via Google Images

17 comments:

  1. There's no debate. It will be the end of the earth tomorrow, as my kitchen is to be finished up tomorrow. Cosmic justice will prevail, and I'll never get to use that which I have been coveting my entire adult life.
    Party it up!

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  2. Instead of a threesome with those guys, would you consider a foursome?

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  3. I will enjoy watching people freak out a little.

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  4. I hope Clooney and Pitt don't accidentally cross swords. Then make eye contact with Ryan Reynolds. That's just awkward for all parties.

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  5. LOL hope you had fun as a mascot. I won't be doing a thing other than the norm. For dead Mayans don't scare me. I wonder what time too though? With all the time zones, which one goes first?

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  6. I shall be working all day tomorrow. So if the world ends before all the potheads show up to stink up my lobby, that would be just fine with me. lol

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  7. You could put Ryan in that purple suit with you. Now, that would make a story. Except there will be no one to tell it to.

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  8. Not to ruin the fun, but since the Mayan calendar didn't include leap year like ours does the end of the world happened long ago. We all just missed it because we were so busy blogging.

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  9. Deb! Awh what do those Mayans know? Twere me, just George alone, k? .....yum

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  10. Hmmm... I thought it was pretty exciting that I'm seeing The Hobbit on the IMAX screen for the second time :) but I now realize I should have set some loftier goals... I wonder what Rob Lowe's up to?

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