Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My Wacky Life

It's Wacky Wednesday time again folks, and today I thought I would entertain you with a few little funnies I heard this week from my very own family. Sometimes the wackiest, weirdest things happen right in front of our very own eyelashes.

So there's Uncle Jeffy dressed up as The Wizard of Oz for Halloween. A little trick or treater said to him, "are you bald"? He replied, "yes". She said, "OK". Then he looks at me and says, "Damn, even the Wizard gets no respect"!

My 12 year old son Ry Guy was in Spanish class and the teacher asked from what country a certain dialect came from. Ry Guy raised his hand and answered, "Nicaragua". The kid in front of him, who was clearly offended, turned around and said, "WHAT did you just call me"???????

My boys were talking about girls yesterday in the car. I just drove and pretended like I wasn't listening. My 16 year old commented to Ry Guy about this one particular girl, "she's pretty but she's kinda gross". Ry Guy, ever the comedian, replied, "yea, let's just say if Gary Johnson was ever president, her profession would be legal" (one of Gary's presidential promises was to legalize prostitution in case you didn't know).
 



And last, I was at the grocery store buyin' some pumpkin beer to celebrate the season and the African American cashier carded me. I told her she made my decade. Unfortunately, she was hardly amused and replied, "I don't mean to be racist, but you people age different than us". When I handed her my driver's license she looked at my birth date, looked up at me, looked at the date again, looked at me and said, "GIIIIIRRRRLLLLL, you crack my shizz up". Uh yeah, "us people" don't know how to handle that kinda humor so I went home and took a Xanax with my pumpkin beer after that encounter!!!!!

Images via Google Images

12 comments:

  1. hope you gave the cashier a saucy tip :)

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  2. It can never be good when someone starts off with" I dont mean to be racist BUT....."
    I'm not sure if i would have been able to come up with a quick comeback either.

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  3. When it comes to age restrictions I get excessive comments. OH MY GOD YOU LOOK TOO YOUNG. It's rather funny, the older people are the farther the gap in the age guesses. I do pretty good at the fair game.

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  4. I friggin get id-ed when I buy a lottery ticket, sad haha. He can't get no respect as a wizard haha maybe he needs to go to Oz.

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  5. I'd say the way you handled that one was prolly the best idea of the decade! ;)

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  6. Carded for pumpkin beer? Interesting. The last time I was carded I was forty and in a convenience store buying airplane glue to help my son build a model.

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  7. You do look young. When you did that Cher pic I swore it was her. Cher has a killer body still to this day and she is like 65 or something horrid, right? You don't look at all like you have teenage boys. You look like a teenage - GIRL!

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  8. Excellent, excellent post. very funny!

    I love listening to my son and his friends talk about other kids in their school also.. you learn the darndest things :)

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  9. I love listening (eavesdropping) on the shizz that the kids say.

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  10. Eavesdropping on kids when they are talking to their friends is the only way to find out what they're up to. If you ask them you get "nothing"

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