It's Wacky Wednesday time again folks, and today I thought I would entertain you with a few little funnies I heard this week from my very own family. Sometimes the wackiest, weirdest things happen right in front of our very own eyelashes.
So there's Uncle Jeffy dressed up as The Wizard of Oz for Halloween. A little trick or treater said to him, "are you bald"? He replied, "yes". She said, "OK". Then he looks at me and says, "Damn, even the Wizard gets no respect"!
My 12 year old son Ry Guy was in Spanish class and the teacher asked from what country a certain dialect came from. Ry Guy raised his hand and answered, "Nicaragua". The kid in front of him, who was clearly offended, turned around and said, "WHAT did you just call me"???????
My boys were talking about girls yesterday in the car. I just drove and pretended like I wasn't listening. My 16 year old commented to Ry Guy about this one particular girl, "she's pretty but she's kinda gross". Ry Guy, ever the comedian, replied, "yea, let's just say if Gary Johnson was ever president, her profession would be legal" (one of Gary's presidential promises was to legalize prostitution in case you didn't know).
And last, I was at the grocery store buyin' some pumpkin beer to celebrate the season and the African American cashier carded me. I told her she made my decade. Unfortunately, she was hardly amused and replied, "I don't mean to be racist, but you people age different than us". When I handed her my driver's license she looked at my birth date, looked up at me, looked at the date again, looked at me and said, "GIIIIIRRRRLLLLL, you crack my shizz up". Uh yeah, "us people" don't know how to handle that kinda humor so I went home and took a Xanax with my pumpkin beer after that encounter!!!!!
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