Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Elmo a Bad Boy!

Welcome to another edition of Wacky Wednesday folks! Today I got disturbing news for ya. Ya know that red, furry monster everybody knows and loves from Sesame Street? Well, turns out Elmo might not be the sweet little innocent guy y'all thought he was. Nope, Elmo a bad boy. Elmo not happy right now. Elmo need a big hug! But be careful if you give Elmo a kiss 'cause Elmo might ask you to play, and he ain't talkin' about on the playground my friends. Elmo a sexual deviant.

Yeppers, Kevin Clash, the puppeteer behind the famous Elmo character, has taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street to dispute allegations that he had a sexual relationship with a 16 year old boy. The accuser is now 23 years old, and Mr. Clash claims the relationship was between two consensual adults, and says he is saddened that he is characterizing it as something other than what it was.

I don't know folks, I have always had my suspicions about that red monster with the ping pong balls for eyes. Seriously, that glazed over look and that high pitched voice just reminds me of a sexual predator. Plus, there's somethin' a bit off when you talk about yourself in the third person. And that tickle me Elmo doll gets downright orgasmic from a little tickle to the tummy. All that shakin' and shiverin' from small children rubbin' on your belly ain't normal behavior.

At least with Bert and Ernie and their bromance ya know what your gettin'. And that slutty Miss Piggy always chasin' after Kermit the Frog makes no bones about the object of her affection. Personally I think Big Bird is asexual, and Oscar the grouch is too damn mean to even think about gettin' his rocks off. But, any monster who lives in a fantasy world all his own most days is not to be trusted. I'm tellin' ya folks, keep your kids far, far away from Elmo 'cause I hear the theme song for the new Elmo doll goes somethin' like this:

la la la la la Elmo's world
la la la la la Elmo's world
Elmo loves his butt plugs, his underage boys too
That's Elmo's world!
 
 
Story: Here
             







16 comments:

  1. Breaking news: Mr. Clash's accuser has recanted his story early this morning, but I'm stickin' to my opinions of that fuzzy little creature. I still ain't ticklin' that dude where the sun don't shine!!

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    1. I've expected something like that. These cases are always so tricky... and 16 isn't such a young and innocent age... everything is possible.

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  2. Does give a whole new meaningto tickle me elmo haha he's still a creepy old guy. Dating someone in his teens when he's like 40 some.

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  3. So confusing. I just don't know what to tickle anymore.

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  4. oh that is sad. creeps everywhere where you least expect them. makes me mad, too.

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  5. I wonder what Oscar the grouch does at night

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  6. OH gawsh that just ain't right. I can agree though and mama MB bought Pokey one of those really really big tickle me Elmo's when Pokey was a baby. Scariest shit ever and Pokey agreed!

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  7. Theres an episode from 1975the where you can hear big bird whispering "i woudnt mind snufuffling HIS upacus"

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  8. ...ok i made that up.

    In other news elmo is when sesame street jumped the shark.

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