Thursday, October 18, 2012

Zumba Boomba

So most of you folks have probably heard the story that has been plastered all over the news about the Zumba instructor in Maine who was doin' a wee bit more than those Latin inspired dance moves in her exercise studio. Let's just say there was a bit of bumpin' and grindin' goin' on with quite a few male customers for a fee, such that there is a new type of cardio exercise now called Zumba Boomba.


Now I don't know about you, but I have taken a few Zumba classes, and I find the dance steps and moves a bit difficult to follow. In fact, the last Zumba class I took I couldn't even get my heart rate up because I was too busy trippin' over my two left feet. So seriously, kudos to this chick for gettin' down to basics and findin' a way even uncoordinated fools can get a work out. Yea, ya gotta take off your clothes and get into some compromising positions, but it sure as hell will feel better than some of those stupid ass meringue marches or salsa travels you have to do in a traditional class. The only thing ya gotta worry about is that damn video recorder 'cause I'll be darn if this new fangled Zumba Boomba ain't against the law. GAWD, I hate when that shizz happens!!!

So the law dogs have charged 29 year old Alexis Wright with engaging in prostitution, and they have released 21 names out of more than 100 men accused of being her Johns. The poor dudes. I mean they weren't able to do a basic calypso so Ms. Wright was just tryin' to accommodate their dancin' capacity by gettin' down with a little doggie style. What's the crime in that? Everyone burns a decent amount of calories, and if you're real lucky you may even experience a happy ending. Plus, with this new Zumba Boomba deal, Ms. Wright reportedly earned herself $150,000 in income over the past 18 months. DANG, no wonder she gave up the samba lunges and shimmys for some simple missionary and reverse cowgirl 'cause this chick knows how to bring in the big bucks.


Sure the little seaside community of Kennebunk is all atwitter about what high profile names will be revealed in this Zumba Boomba scandal, but really, in our fitness crazed society, shouldn't the real issue be whether or not the clients got what they paid for? Did they get a hot, sweaty, high calorie burnin' workout, or was it a mere lackluster performance? Personally, I'm waitin' for the DVDs to be released of Ms. Wright's unique Zumba Boomba exercise method. I'm always up for new and different ways to shake up my fitness routine.


Story: Here At Home Take 2

24 comments:

  1. I'd take the boomba without the zumba....

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  2. Well, they do say that you can modify the workout to make it work for you, so maybe it's just creative license on the normal routine?? Or not...

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  3. She's not a bad looker, I doubt there was just 100 Johns.

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  4. Wow, 150,000 bucks, not to shabby. Not wonder her and the Johns got all doggie or crabby.

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  5. All i wanna do is zumba zoom zoom in a Boom Boom!! remember that song?
    It seems to me its a win win situation. A little extra cardio to get the heart rate going and a little extra cash from those folks that needed extra credit by staying later.

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  6. Do you think it lasted long enough to burn off many calories? I'm betting that hooker has the 2-minute handjob down to a fine art.

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  7. Dannnng! Is that how much ya make teaching zumba boomba?! May not be worth it in the end though, just sayin!

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  8. I feel sorry for dudes that can't get laid. Make it legal already.

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  9. Darn it. All we have here is a hairdresser which offers free beer.
    I wanna move to Maine.

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  10. I say set her free, and give her my address.

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  11. This is a victimless crime!!! She got paid, they got Zoomba lessons "with benefits", everyone wins!

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  12. Ya I saw that gal on the national news and thought, hmmmm, now that sounds like a story that Deb would be focusing on. Haaaaaa! LOL and ...there it is! (see, you can't fool me) LOL

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  13. I think this was a win-win deal. Why does someone always have to ruin the "party"? As for Zumba itself, I pass. I'm not good with coordinated dance moves. They say right and I automatically go left.

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