Wednesday, October 24, 2012

What a Knucklehead!

It's Wacky Wednesday time again folks and how 'bout those Jersey City law dogs fingerin' a suspect for carjacking, throwing bodily fluids at law enforcement officers, and being under the the influence of a controlled dangerous substance? But instead of just goin' down to the station to be fingerprinted, the dude got the munchies and literally bit the hand that feeds him.

Yeppers there's 29 year old Jargget Washington, who was high on PCP, tried to gnaw off his own wrist in a holding cell, shit in the back of a police car, then bit off his own finger and swallowed it. Mmmmmm, now that gives finger foods a whole new meaning hey? I suppose Mr. Washington may have been hallucinating and thought he was eatin' some chicken fingers from KFC 'cause obviously it was finger lickin' good! Or perhaps he had a chocolate craving and reached for a Butterfinger. Nobody better lay a finger on his Butterfinger baby!!

The good news is that the guy will now be able to free himself from those silly Chinese finger traps. The bad news is that the poor dude will only be able to count to nine on his hands. At least there's still enough left for a good ol' knuckle sandwich.


I wasn't able to ascertain exactly which finger the knucklehead decided to consume when he wanted a quick bite to eat. However, I sure hope it wasn't his middle finger 'cause everyone needs to be able to give the standard one finger salute. Plus, there's real power in flippin' the double bird!!!

Thank you so much to my friend Susan who hooked me up with the scoop for this post.

story: Here

17 comments:

  1. Whoever fingered him for the carjacking had better watch out.

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  2. now, there's a well mannered young gentleman.....

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  3. I think he can count up to nineteen - you forgot his toes :)

    So with a finger missing can he get a disablement allowance ?

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  4. PCP is crazy. It sucks for him. He looks like such a mice person.

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  5. Well, i certainly wont be eating chicken fingers for lunch today.

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  6. Ha! That's crazy! I thought for sure he was another bath salt zombie and you turned it around on me. At least with PCP they eat themselves and not poor homeless people :)

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  7. Too bad Mrs. Reagan isn't still around doing her "Just Say No" campaign. This guy would be the perfect spokesperson.

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  8. What an outstanding guy this fellow is. His parents must be so proud. I wonder how many fingers THEY have.

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  9. Well, he probably wouldn't have thrown bodily fluids at them if they hadn't fingered him.
    I'm just sayin'....

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  10. Often times while I am beginning to read your articles I think, "ok now what has this guy/gal done now?" Then all of a sudden you hit the punch line or the climax of the information and I always, always, always GASP! Then I read the article you got the info from and they don't have the job you do. I love your versions more every time!!! This guy? I wonder when he is going to realize what went down? hahahaha.

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  11. Just you wait Deb, I haven't put the best pictures of the Lake on yet.

    Ya, I was referring to the real cougars but can't help visualizing a Demi Moore type now out there stalking someone at the other hidden lake. These photos are of the better lake/reservoir that is wide open and BEAUTIFUL!!!

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  12. Hey, I have the same white cardigan that joint smoking bird flipping homeless dude is wearing.

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