All Fired Up
Today's edition of Wacky Wednesday is a story that happened right up the road from me in New Bern, North Cackalacky at the Piggly Wiggly of all places. If you folks ain't never been to a Piggly Wiggly, it's the grocery store version of a Walmart, so this wacky incident really comes as no surprise. This lady sure was under fire, or got fired from her job or somethin' to go nutso on a vending machine.
So it appears Debra Johnson was jonesin' for a soda, put her money in the 7-Up machine in front of the store, but when the vending machine neither produced a soda, nor gave her money back, she got all fired up and started kickin' the dang thang. Then she got the fire down below and went for the fire in the hole method by lighting a piece of newspaper and stuffing it inside the machine. All of the 7-Ups went up in flames, and surveillance video captured everything on tape. Ms. Johnson has been arrested.
Good news is little Miss Fire Power was able to get a soda from another machine before the firetrucks arrived. Guess she needed a little mixer for her fire water.
Take a minute to watch Ms. Pyromaniac's fiery personality in the courtroom as she drops the f bomb and then basically says she don't need a lawyer to lie for her, 'cause she done it. DANG, she certainly ain't no liar, liar, pants on fire!!!
Now even though she fired away at that drink machine, at least her crime doesn't warrant the firing squad. Perhaps sittin' on a pile of fire ants is a more appropriate punishment since she sure did have a fire under her butt that day!!!
Story: Here
7-Ups are really that flammable? Huh, well you learn something new every day.
ReplyDeleteBetween your post and Kellie's comment, all I can think now is, well, that's why they can't sell alcohol in vending machines. Like that was ever a possibility.
ReplyDeleteBesides the lovely lady, I also enjoyed the store clerk. She would have gotten her money back in 5 or 6 hours??? Something tells me she just doesn't have that kind of time.
We used to have a Piggly Wiggly, and it's certainly not your high-class grocery store.
ReplyDeleteI hate the name Piggly Wiggly.
ReplyDeleteOh the Piggly Wiggly's! We still have a few scattered here and there around Texas.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta appreciate her willingness to say "i did it"! Who would even think of putting a lit paper in a vending machine? oh my!
Never even heard of a Piggly Wiggly, you americans can keep such things haha She really wanted that soda.
ReplyDeletebut she looks like such a lovely and well mannered lady on that pic :PPPP
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I get a little bitchy when I can't have my Diet Coke...PS: I loved your "voice" in this. I could almost hear that lady cussing and banging shit around 'cuz she almost dun get her some 7-Up...whatever, I don't even live in the US, I don't presume to be able to imitate ya'll...
ReplyDeleteThe local Philadelphia news featured this story. The locals got all uppity about this backwoods woman and felt quite superior to her. Until a gunfight broke out.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine wanting a soda that bad. I wonder what she'll be drinking in the slammer.
ReplyDeletePIggly Wiggly huh? I think they're all gone down here! I knew there was something about 7-up that I just couldn't like!
ReplyDelete