Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Perfect Country Song

AW SHUCKS folks, seems as if one of our home grown boys here in North Cackalacky has fallen into a downward spiral. Yeppers, 7 time Grammy winner Randy Travis, age 53, has made some choices that have turned his life into the perfect country song that has been blasted all over the news, internet and my beloved People magazine. In case you haven't heard, it appears as if Randy went into a Tiger Mart naked as a jay bird and tried to buy some cigarettes. Later he crashed his 1998 Pontiac Trans Am. The po po found him naked and injured, but the washed up country singer decided to threaten the law dogs' lives instead of just goin' nicely on a DUI charge. Rumor has it he is facing some demons after he split from his 71 year old wife. Now every time I drive to Charlotte and go through that little ol' town of Marshville and see that famous sign, "Home of Randy Travis", I'm gonna sing me this little diddy:

(sung to Randy's hit "Honky Tonk Moon")

Thought I would have me a little drink.
Jump in my 98 Trans Am so I could think.
Shoulda took my pick up truck.
Instead I got all liquored up.
Went to the Tiger Mart in my birthday suit.
Wanted to buy some cigs but didn't have the loot.
Thought a lot about my bleedin', broken heart.
My 71 year old wife who don't give a fart.
Took the corner way too fast.
Ended up flat on my naked ass.
Blue lights came a screamin' in.
That damn cop said I threatened him.
In my mug shot I got a black eye.
Yea, you should see the other guy.
Now I'm facin' 10 years in jail.
Hope my cougar ex will post me some bail.

(chorus) I got the has been country singer blues...............

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Story: Here

Thank you Sarah for giving me the heads up about poor Randy's troubles.


  1. I bet Reba inspired you on this over at my place :)

  2. LOL poor Randy, but his troubles are just dandy making for an easy song that can do no wrong.

    P.S. you still have crappy WV ON!!!! Shame!

    1. GAWD, I had NO idea I had crappy WV. Thank you for pointing out this eggregious error. Think I just fixed the problem.

  3. Golly, if a 71 year old farted, all that would come out would be dust.
    Great song!
    Too bad there's no trains or dogs in it.

  4. hahahaha. you always make me laugh. Po Randy ain't got no class. Naked? seriously? His po ol' song-writin' days could come back while in the pokie. look at what happened to Johnny Cash.

  5. ahahaaahahaaaa..hahahahahha.. so po.

  6. "The perfect country song." Isn't that an oxymoron?

  7. lmao... THAT is the greatest country song ever written! I saw this on the news a week or so ago, how unfortunate for him. Maybe he will sober up and get over the cougar!

  8. These show business types always run around butt naked when they have a breakdown. They must be trying to scare off old ladies with poodles.

  9. When he was arrested he was naked?? That's classic!

  10. He doesn't look too good in that mug shot, does he! And he's 53 but his ex wife is 71?

  11. I hate it when country singers live out their songs.

  12. Found you via #findingthefunny. Thinking you've got a career in country music if the whole blogging thing ever gets old ;)