Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Leave It To Beaver

It's Wacky Wednesday time again folks, and when I saw this article on my friend Rossie's Facebook page, I just KNEW it was Wacky Wednesday blog material. It appears that not every boy scout lives by the sacred motto, "Be Prepared". Poor Normand Brousseau, a boy scout leader, was swimming in a Pennsylvania river when a rabid beaver swam through his legs and bit him in the chest, leg, butt, arm and torso. I realize it's difficult to imagine the words "beaver" and "boy scout" in the same sentence, but be that as it may, if Mr. Brousseau had "been prepared" like the boy scouts had taught him, perhaps his injuries may have been less severe.

First of all, ya gotta know how to treat a beaver. Most beavers like to be gently caressed, stroked and massaged in their sweet spot in order for them to behave nicely. Beavers are very temperamental creatures, but once you figure out how to please them, you really got 'em in the palm of your hand.  You definitely don't wanna play rough with a beaver, 'cause that's when them bitches get all crazy on ya and start foamin' at the mouth, which explains the rabies diagnosis in this situation. Plus, if Mr. Troop Leader was spazzin' out and flailin' around that just makes a beaver clamp down even harder to keep things goin' at a nice and steady rhythm. 

Second, you NEVAH invade a beaver's den uninvited. Oh no mister!!! Just like a den mother who is fiercely protective of her cub scouts, so too is a beaver protective of its personal space. You need to wine and dine the beaver a bit, do a little of that smooth talkin', make that furry thang feel a bit special before a beaver is gonna allow ya to get into its den. Otherwise, that beaver gonna sink its teeth into ya where the sun don't shine, and them beaver teeth just ain't purty.

Now I imagine Mr. Brousseau earned himself another merit badge in beaver handling, or something of that sort, for his courage in warding off that rabid animal. Of course anyone other than a boyscout would just put another notch on their bedpost after a raucous night of beaver handling. But hey, a badge is a badge people!!!! And in another act of bravery, other boyscouts at the scene did in fact use rocks to kill this large rodent that day. Right there folks is the boyscout version of a beaver shot. 

Unfortunately for Mr. Brousseau, I understand that rabies shots are more painful to endure than the VD shots that might have been necessary with other type of beaver infections. Just to be on the safe side, perhaps using a beaver dam (aka condom) is the best way to teach all boyscouts to "be prepared"!!!!!

Story: Here
Images via Google Images

Thank you so much Rossie for the awesome blog material!!!

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25 comments:

  1. Very funny, but I feel dirty and a bit perverted for reading it. I don't like mixing beavers with young boys.

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  2. I feel I'm all ready now to join Boy Scouts :)

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  3. LOL us Canadians know how to treat a beaver, I mean it's on our nickel, so they get passed around quite a bit, can be kind of touchy too haha

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  4. For a beaver that bites you, there is penicilin.

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  5. They changed a college near here from "Beaver College" to "Ursinus."
    But, we know, we know.
    And, as everyone knows, where's there's a busy beaver, there's wood.

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  6. Poor Beaver- why did he have to die? He was totally invaded and protecting his home. You walk into someone's house here in Texas, you're likely to get shot on the spot.
    I'm following your blog now- i love it. You can follow me at www.hollishootsandhollers.blogspot.com

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  7. This story is a bit off-topic, but whatever. I had a customer a few months ago claim he was a "nature lover" and that living in the country beats the city. Then he complained about the beavers eating his trees, and boasted about how would shoot them straight in the face. I don't think that counts as a nature lover, but psychopath might fit that guy.

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  8. I think I'm gonna pass this on to a few men I know! lmao. Way too funny.

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  9. Nice back to back blogs. Your hub must wonder what has gotten into you as you jump him every night after thinking up these gems.

    My favorite store in Avon, Colorado (outside of Vail) is called Beaver Liquors.

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  10. I get a kick out of you loving my mountain views around here. You come here! You come to SLC and see them here. They aren't going anywhere soon. lol.

    Leave it to Beaver!

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  11. Holy crap is that funny. Now all I can think of is Yakov Smirnoff.

    In soviet Russia, beaver eat YOU.

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  12. I am hijacking your comments... Just looked more closely at your bio and realized you are in NC.I Me too...I live in Greensboro!
    Hubs spent High School years attending the one and only Hoggard and we still return to visit friends fairly often.

    Small world!

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    Replies
    1. Very small world!!! My 16 year old attends Hoggard. GO VIKINGS!!!

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  13. So did they eat the beaver after killing it? I think that's what the beaver would have wanted.

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  14. OK, so this post was absolutely hilarious!

    New follower from the blog hop!

    xoxo ♥ Shar
    http://sharmartinez.blogspot.com

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  15. ROTFL - Great way to start the weekend - am passing your link on to friends. New follower from the Friday Blog Hop - Stop by and visit http://allthoseartsygirls.blogspot.com/

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  16. Funny! Stopping by from the Friday Blog Hop - Would love a visit, follow and comments. Loved your post.
    http://mintascreations.blogspot.com/

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  17. So this isn't about your post- but just wanted to say your header rocks! Love it.

    Following you from the Friday Blog Hop and would love a GFC follow back as well as for you to join in the Weekend Blog Walk blog hop at http://www.athometake2.com. We've got a great group of bloggers linking up every weekend.

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  19. Hiya, I found your blog on 'blog hops everday' and I am now following you. I have to say that I laughed my head off about your beaver tips. I shall keep them in mind next time I stumble across one!

    Hope you can stop by my place too!

    http://www.thedayafteryesterday.co.uk/

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  20. just discovered your blog and I love it! I'm your newest follower - hope you can check me out too! xo

    http://allthingsprettyandlittle.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete