Friday, July 6, 2012

The Magical, Orgasmical Mike

Today's post is devoted to the ladies, and if you haven't already noticed, I believe I just invented a new word in my title. I kinda like it- "orgasmical". It rhymed with "magical", so I thought why the hell not. Yes, I went to see Magic Mike over the weekend with a group of gals, and now that I'm fully recovered from my orgasmical experience, I thought I would give you my Redneck Recap. Not to worry though, I will not spoil a thang for those of you who have not yet had the Magical Mike pleasure.

Guys, please don't even bother going to see this flick with your significant other. You will be completely embarrassed. The theatre I went to was jammed packed with women of varying ages and there was a grand total of 3 men in the entire place. One guy said something like, "I can't believe I'm sitting here", another guy accompanied his teenage daughter, and the third got up and walked out for a more testosterone fueled movie next door. So ladies, grab your girlfriends for a ladies night out, then go home and give your man a little extra lovin' after gettin' all hot and bothered from seein' that sexy, sweaty beef cake on the big screen.

Word of caution- do NOT even think about going to the concession stand or the restroom during the previews, because if you miss the opening scene of the movie you are going to be regretting that decision til the day you die. If you gotta pee, cross your legs sista and wait til AFTER that pivotal moment. After you see the flick you will know EXACTLY what I'm talkin' about!!!!

Now believe it or not, the movie does actually have a plot. In our debriefing session, which included lots of alcoholic beverages, my friend Melissa mentioned that she actually wished there was less of a story line and more action on stage. She compared the movie to porn. She's the type of gal who likes to see lots of action rather than get bogged down with all the gobbledy gook. Not me, I need the story line to become fully invested, even in porn. Guess that's why there's chocolate and vanilla folks. Somethin' for everyone right? Also during our debriefing we discussed the lack of hair on these men's bodies. Even in high def there was no visible peach fuzz. These dudes must have been immersed in some full body hot wax vats for their roles in this movie, 'cause MY GAWD laser hair removal would take YEARS and literally hundreds of thousands of dollars to achieve those kinda results. All I can say is GAWD bless those aestheticians who had the pleasure of waxin' them boys from neck to toe. WHOO WEE!!!!!

My friends were split pretty evenly between Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey. Team Channing loved his height and muscle mass, while team Matthew enjoyed his lean, stream lined frame. My friend Robin was ALL over Channing's bulked up size, being that he was a former football player and all. Plus, no one can argue with that guy's dance moves. WHEW, that dude's got ALL the right moves fo' sho!!! Just imagine how those gyrations translate into the boudoir. I was most impressed that Matthew has 10 years on Channing and his body is just as rock solid as his younger compadre. His face might be a bit more weathered, but let's be honest, no one was really checkin' out his crow's feet.

So bottom line ladies, the movie probably ain't gonna be at the top of any critically acclaimed list, but it will be one that will stick in your memory for quite some time. And really, that's all that counts anyway!!

Images via Google Images

14 comments:

  1. Channing is from just north of Birmingham, he's an Alabama boy from Cullman.

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  2. I went to see this last weekend solely for Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum. I had to look up what the plot was about. I need a plot too but it was the least important thing. This movie was HAWT! Channing in the army uniform gets me every time and hottness aside Matthew just needs to open his mouth and talk. I swoon for that Texan drawl of his.

    I'm probably going to need to buy this when it comes out. You know, supporting my favorite actors and all.

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  3. Hot damn. It just SUCKS that I don't have a theater close by. I'd be all over that movie like white on rice. *sigh*

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  4. Matthew is from Austin like me although I'm not quite as famous just yet. He learned his Texas drawl from me however. You are welcome to swoon over me if you can't get an appointment with Matthew. ;)

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  5. Did they give you the full monty? If you don't get the full monty, how would you know they're not putting vegetables into their briefs?

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  6. MmmmHmmm.. I haven't seen it but I've been in love with Mathew since Dazed and Confused... Gheah! :) can't wait to see it!

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  7. My sister watched it, died from pleasure then complained about no plot line!

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  8. thanks for the comment on the patriotic toes and Zumba! Talk about where's the BEEF? (BEEF CAKE) hahaha. Matthew McConaughey is yum nice, but my husband is the hottest guy on earth!!!!!!

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  9. I haven't even heard of this, but now I HAVE to see it!

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  10. I love Matthew. Sadly, he got married recently. The little bit of hope I was holding onto is gone.

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  11. I can't wait to see this! My girlfriends and I were having a terrible time coordinating our schedules, but I think we've finally found a slot next week :) So excited!

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  12. Wait. I'm still stuck at the dad who accompanied is teenage daughter. OMG! For real??
    If I was a teenager and my DAD was with me at this movie I would be scarred for life.
    Very funny post my internet blog friend! You always manage to make me laugh.

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  13. HAWT, HAWT, HAWT! My daughter recorded some MTV awards program and we watched it the other night. Matthew and Channing came out on stage to present an award and Channing gave a little preview of his oh-so-good gyrations. Good thing it was DVR'd 'cause I played it over, and over and over. Found myself with the TOTO saying, "We're not in Kansas anymore!"

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  14. Loved this post and I so can't wait to go to this movie...it isn't released here till the end of this month for us here in New Zealand...sooo can't wait to immerse myself in it :-)

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