Monday, June 18, 2012

Goin' Green All The Way?????

Folks, are you goin' green all the way to home plate, or just gettin' to first base? Now I'm all about doin' my part to save the environment, but a girl's gotta have limits . After reading an article years ago about how much paper is wasted on receipts at ATMs and at self-service gas stations, I no longer ask for a receipt. I also pay most of my bills on-line. Hell, sometimes I even take those reusable bags to the grocery store when I remember. However, I draw the line on goin' green in the boudoir. There are some things that just need to remain sacred, and being environmentally conscious ain't got no business when it comes to gettin' down and dirty!!!!

An article in Rodale talks about the growing interest of people wanting to keep toxins outta the bedroom and gives 10 ways to climax without harmful chemicals. I'm only gonna hit the highlights for ya and let you read the others in the privacy of your chambers if you so desire. First, the article talks about my favorite guilty pleasure- CHOCOLATE. Did you know that a compound in dark chocolate releases the same feel good endorphins triggered by sex, and that just one cube of dark chocolate a day can improve sexual function? HOORAY for chocolate!!! Unfortunately, the authors have to ruin my chocolate fantasies by saying that pesticides in non-organic chocolates have been linked to hormone disruption, defunct sperm and reproductive problems, and advises you to choose organic chocolate for best results. Speaking as a true chocoholic, I'm stickin' with my hometown Hershey's favorites and will indulge in Godiva for a special treat. No need to go organic when I know exactly what satisfies my sweet tooth and what gets my hormonal juices flowin'. Plus, on those crazy jacked up nights when I feel like meltin' a little bit of that chocolaty goodness on Uncle Jeffy for dessert, I sure as hell ain't thinkin' about what kinda pesticides I might be ingesting. Good ol' Hershey's melts just fine and dandy!

  In another one of the green sex tips, the article warns that toxic soap chemicals can harm your sex life, so you really want to clean and caress each other with 100% unscented pure organic soap and oils. Now I don't know about you ladies, but in my vast experience, if you ask a guy to get in the shower with you, he ain't gonna care what you clean and caress him with, and that whole wet, soapy deal will only enhance your sex life, not harm it!!! So lather up, and bring on those toxins baby 'cause they just goin' right down the drain anywho.

If you want to eliminate energy use associated with battery operated or rechargeable vibrators, the article suggests that a glass dildo may be just the thing for you. HHHHMMMMM, how would you explain that funky lookin' contraption to your kids that is in the dishwasher waiting to be cleaned? And, can you imagine if one of those glass thingamabobs shattered during a particularly energetic session? DAMN, I pity the chick who has to think up some crazy cockamaimie story for the ER doctor who draws the short straw on having the pleasant task of picking the glass shards outta her vajayjay. Uh yea, I think I'll just stick with the ol' stand by non-ecofriendly, plastic, battery operated model thank you very much.

However, the last green tip I will mention is one I can definitely alter to fit into my lifestyle. The article describes how non-organic cotton used to make underwear is made with loads of water and pesticides and advises that you only wear organic undies. For the love of GAWD people, save the earth and just go commando!!!!!!

Thank you to my friend and faithful reader Denise who sends me such great blog material.

Story and Images: Here

15 comments:

  1. I agree with most of your positions, including the sexual ones, but a glass dildo isn't going to shatter unless you've got rocks in your coochie. There's got to be another reason why you prefer the battery operated devices.

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  2. LOL! I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a glass dildo isn't going to have quite the same ... impact ... as a battery operated one, no matter how good it is for the environment. I'm all for saving the planet, but you have to draw the line somewhere!

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  3. "a compound in dark chocolate releases the same feel good endorphins triggered by sex" What the hell kind of chocolate are they eating and where can I get some LOL.

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  4. You have inspired a new slogan for the environmental movement: Go Green, Go Pantless.

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  5. It's a pity, I guess, that I've never cared much for dark chocolate. Although I am with Matt . . . what the hell kind of chocolate are they eating because I'll take it! lol

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  6. This is why we have plastic. Plastic was invented to substitute for glass, wood or ceramic. lol Hey, and about our favorite foods (speaking of that?) Oh, ya! We would have to eat out and eat at the opposite sides of the long table. You are still cool! Now eat up them chocolates !!!!!

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  7. save the earth and go commando. I love that :)

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  8. everyone needs to go green

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  9. I hope theyre made of unbreakable glass

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  10. A glass dildo? Oh my!!! I just shuddered at the thought of THAT!!

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