Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Even The Score

Folks, if there is one thing I hate more than anything else on this earth, it's a pompous ass. I fancy myself as a down to earth redneck. An educated redneck mind you, but a redneck nonetheless. So, I just see no sense in people thinkin' they are better than anybody else.

However, douche bags are everywhere. Back in my college days there was this rich spoiled dude who thought he was "all that and a bag of chips". The chicks would all swoon over him, and drop everything for a chance to go out with Mr. Ass Clown. The lucky ones who dated him all told similar stories of how conceited he was, and how every chance he got he was lookin' in the mirror at himself.

Mr. Ass Clown dated quite a few of my friends, and I was gettin' really pissed off at the way he treated them. Some of these poor girls really let his ass hattery attitude effect their self esteem. So I got to thinkin' how I could even the score. One day in class, I summoned up my courage and told him I was having trouble with a particular topic, and since he was SO smart, I was wondering if he would tutor me. That sucker fell for it hook, line and sinker!!!!

 When he arrived at my apartment I had just baked a pan of delicious brownies as a treat to help us study. Mr. Ass Clown was chowin' down on those brownies like nobody's business, and he "tutored" me for about 40 minutes, in between lookin' in the mirror and tellin' me how great of an athlete he was in high school. When it came time for him to leave, I chuckled and told him I would see him in class. Poor fella never made it to class the next day, 'cause little did he know those chunks in my brownies were chocolate flavored Ex-Lax. Score one for the redneck chick!!!!

This post was written in response to Trifecta's 33-333 Word Writing Challenge to the word "score" meaning an account or reckoning originally kept by making marks on a tally; amount due; indebtedness.

Images via Google Images

24 comments:

  1. Make me some I'll have you send them to some select folks as "gifts".

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  2. Wow, I would have just brought us some pot brownies and we would have screwed the studying and screwed.

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  3. What a mean trick! I would have just turned my back on him and farted.

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  4. I have always wondered if that could really be done... good to know!

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  5. Wow. I bow before your vicious greatness!

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  6. Remind me not to accept a shiny red apple from you.

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  7. LOL When I saw the brownies I knew what was coming next, good for you sound like he deserved a prank that would humble him a little.

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  8. That's pretty cruel, but he probably deserved it.

    What really sucks is those arrogant a-holes are the ones that get all the girls. That's just not fair. ha

    Jay

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  9. I should have you take care of the guy in my post! ha ha ha Congrats on sticking up for us girls.

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  10. LMFAO Ohh, you showed him girl! So, did he ever call you on on it?

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  11. He had it coming for him! What an ass hat indeed

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  12. I've been telling my husband how great you write, so I read this aloud to him just now and we were both howling at the "hook, line and sinker"... then I was stumbling on the punch line amid hilarity of getting out the word, 'EX-LAX' (Do they even still make that stuff?) snaps!!!!

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  13. You.
    Are.
    AWESOME!

    P.S. "Ass hattery" absolutely made my day.

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  14. I knew where it was going pretty early on, and I absolutely relished it. "Mr. Ass Clown." That has to be one of the best names ever.

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  15. Very good read and enjoyed his comeuppance. :-)

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  16. Ouch. I know what I'm going to think of next time someone offers me a brownie. (Yeah, I'll skip it!)

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  17. I wonder if he ever made the connection...

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  18. Well, at least he had a lot of time to sit and think about his actions the next day.

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  19. LMAO! good for you lady. that's the way to show them up :)

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