Friday, May 25, 2012

A Whole New Kinda Love

Have you ever been in love? I mean truly, "wholeheartedly" in love? You know the feeling. It hits you like a ton of bricks. Well, I've been married for almost 26 years, and thought I found my true soul mate until just the other day. Sorry Uncle Jeffy, but I have to follow my heart. As soon as I saw the object of my affection, my palms started to sweat, my heart started beating faster, and my belly felt like it had little butterflies fluttering around inside. The worst part was having to fight off the literally thousands of other admirers just to get some face time. But once I did so, it was SOOOOOOO worth it because our love is so pure, so "wholesome" that I know there is no going back to mediocrity.

 Me in front of the grand opening Wednesday

That's right folks, Whole Foods just opened in little ol' Wilmington, North Cackalacky and there's a "whole" lotta lovin' to be found inside. Now those of you who live in fancy cities, you may not think this is any big deal. But for this small town where I live, this is THE hugest thing to come to town since Robert Downey Jr. arrived a couple of weeks ago to film a movie. MY GAWD, the fresh fruits and veggies, the organic this and that, the selection of prepared foods, amazing stuff like coconut soap, cucumber shampoo, feta goat cheese, and gorgeous flowers just sent my clitoris into orgasmic spasms like nuthin' I've ever experienced before. And LAWD, the smell of all that freshly baked bread made my "whole" nipple erect and stand up at attention. I seriously had to step outside before I had multiple orgasms right there in the produce section. But then I saw the tent outside selling salmon and fresh shrimp and the "whole" tingly sensation started again.

No more going store to store to find everything I need or desire. The "wholehog" is right here baby. Where I was once a fractured being, I am now finally complete and "whole".

Thanks so much to my Hot Tamale friend for the inspiration for this post and not getting pissed at me for completely ripping off her photo idea. Hey, plagiarism is the best form of flattery right????


  1. That place is great, we have one up the road from us, though I don't frequent it that often, I do love that place. I go there mainly for hard to find ethnic items. I love alllllll sorts of foods from around the world.

  2. Yup loving me some WHOLE FOODS too. I love their bulk section, their 365 Choco chips and their salad bar is to die for. But, i moved here last summer and I have to drive really really far to get to one now...i'm bummed about that.

  3. I've never heard of a Whole Foods store, but we have a Super 1 and it is really super...hence the name.

    Love the pic! You look so awesome standing in front of the new store!

  4. That store is totally whole paycheck for me.

  5. I love Whole Foods. I'm usually too broke to shop there, but they have some of the most amazing spring rolls in that already made hot and ready section. I love it! yay for whole foods! :)