Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Snip, Snip, Clip, Clip


Welcome to Wacky Wednesday folks!!! Ya know Wednesday is rapidly becoming my favorite day of the week because so many of you send me stories, clips and tips for some of the craziest crap and say, "Hey, I saw this and thought you could use it for your blog".  Hhhhhmmmmm, I suppose that just goes to show how warped I really am. Today's wacky story comes courtesy of my friend Mary. 


We all know in our society there are certain customs or traditions that we tend to follow. Sure there are the nonconformists, but they are usually seen as the outliers or wackos are they not? Take circumcision as a prime example. Most infant boys are circumcised because years of research has shown that the benefits of this simple procedure certainly outweigh the risks.  With a significant decrease in HIV, HPV infections, syphilis, chlamydia, urinary tract infections and a virtual elimination of penile cancer, circumcision seems like a no brainer, considering the only risks are excess bleeding and maybe an infection.

But leave it to a 28 year old, South Dakota prison inmate named Dean Cochrun to sue the hospital where he was circumcised as a newborn saying that he only recently became aware that he had undergone the procedure and that it robbed him of his sexual prowess. Uh, has he never looked at his dick? Did he never choke his chicken as a horny teenager? How can someone seriously not know they were circumcised until the ripe old age of 28???? I guess Mr. Cochrun never took sex ed in school and learned about foreskin, nor did he obviously ever stealthily check out the other dudes in the locker room to notice if anybody had a turtleneck by comparison.

Uncircumcised penis (aka turtleneck)
As part of his lawsuit, Mr. Cochrun asks that his foreskin be restored in the hopes that he could feel whole again. Sorry dude, I do believe your foreskin may have been used as fish bait some 28 years ago. So this wacko argues he has been robbed of sensitivity during sexual intercourse. How in the hell would he know since he never knew what sex felt like before he had been snipped and clipped? Furthermore, that is really a moot point 'cause he's locked up in the big house, and the only sensitive area he needs to worry about now is up the Hershey Highway. What I'm thinkin' is that Mr. Cochran may have met Big Bubba in the stony lonesome and Bubba ain't circumcised. Little 'ol Mr. Cochran will do anything to be part of Bubba's gang, and since he's got nuthin' but time on his hands, he's filed himself this outlandish lawsuit to show Bubba he's worthy of being a member of the foreskin fraternity. Now maybe if Mr. Cochran wins his lawsuit and he does have his foreskin miraculously restored, every inmate in the slammer will hear Mr. Cochran's cries of ecstasy when he finally gets his first taste of uncircumcised sex with some poor bastard who drops the soap in the shower.

Now seriously folks, this whole mess could have been avoided 28 years ago if Mr. Cochran would have just given the doctors the finger, lived up to his surname, and taken his cock and ran.

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Thank you Mary for sending me this great story. Sure hope you enjoyed my interpretation.

Images via Google Images

8 comments:

  1. Brilliant BamaTrav- simply BRILLIANT!!!!!

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  2. I'm at a coffee shop, and there was just a turtleneck on my screen.

    An old lady behind me yelped... I'm redfaced and can't stop laughing!!!

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  3. I'd like to arrange a trade with this guy. He can have mine; it's been nothing but trouble since day one. No courts involved, he gets his, I lose mine...sounds like a win-win situation, right?

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  4. This is for sure the last time I try to sneak a peak at your blog while at work. Imagine how that thing looked with the screen minimized to the size of the picture.

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  5. Really? He was upset that he was missing that piece of skin? Bleh!!! Thanks for showing me what one looks like. That was appreciated...LOL

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  6. I shudder at the memory of having seen one of these in real life. I was really hoping there wasn't a picture but down I scroll and there it was. En route to therapy now.

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  7. Pretty sure I could have gone the rest of my life never seeing an uncircumsised pennie. That was AWFUL! lmao...

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