Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sketchy Skechers

Hey folks did you hear that Skechers Shape-ups fitness shoes has agreed to a $40 million settlement after the company was hit with a lawsuit for making unfounded claims. Apparently if you bought Skecher's Resistance Runner Toners or Tone-Up shoes you are not guaranteed to lose weight and strengthen muscles in your butt, stomach and legs like their clinical studies claim. And get this, it may not be true that these amazing shoes actually do more for Kim Kardashian's figure than her personal trainer like she touts in the ads. SERIOUSLY, I can't fucking believe that????????

 I thought all I had to do was buy a pair of these magic shoes that cost between $60 and $100, walk a few laps around the block, and my body would be instantly smokin' hot. Forget about that ol' fashioned notion of diet and exercise. Hell, if you can get a quick fix by buying these fashionable sneakers, why not right??? Even Joe Montana was schleppin' these puppies sayin' they improved his stamina. I mean if Joe Cool, a Hall of Fame Quarterback says somethin', then it must be true. I am literally shocked to find out that Skechers can't hold up to their claims.

However, there is good news folks. If you were duped by these Shape-Ups and your body is still flabby and unsightly, all you have to do is go online and fill out a form in order to receive a refund. You really don't even have to provide any documentation that you actually bought the shoes in the first place. THANK GAWD the company will believe any lazy fat ass who tries to get in on the action. So go rejoice by having your double whopper with cheese, large fries and a chocolate shake. No need to feel guilty by exercising later 'cause your refund will be comin' in the mail in 6-12 weeks. WHOO HOO!!!!

As for me, I'm filling out my claim form 'cause I'm pissed as hell that no matter how many laps around my cul de sac I do with my pretty little Shape-Ups my booty still don't look like this:

Yeah, that's right Skechers, I'm talkin' to YOU!!! Baby got back and I want it!!!! I'm joinin' that settlement claim and I'm gonna take a piece of you.

Images: Here, Here and Google Imagesread to be read at yeahwrite.me

19 comments:

  1. Not to mention the shoes are UGLY!!!!! Bad move ladies!

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  2. You know that's the first time I've seen that photo of Kim Kardashian at the beach. I'm trying to imagine her walking but what that must do to her mid-back would be truly horrid. Between the weight of those fake breasts and that Godzilla reminiscent bottom her back would be feeling some kinda serious pain.

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  3. Isn't it a total shocker that a shoe CAN'T tone your butt? Unless of course you actually jog somewhere with it on.

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  4. I love living in a society that is ready to sue anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat.

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  5. I didn't buy into the magic shoe hype. I attribute it to my realistic fitness goals and my hatred of ugly, bulky shoes. Looks like they saved me a scam-o-rama on this one!

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  6. WHAT?? Are you really telling me that a pair of shoes won't magically make my bottom more rotund? What the heck?! :)

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  7. I'm supposed to get a refund for my "balance ball" Reeboks which failed to turn my post-partum jelly-belly rock hard.

    Gotta love the class-action!

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  8. Is that rump for real? Anyway, how can putting things on your feet change the shape of your booty, you'd have to be ninny to believe that. I would make all the fat-asses climb trees.

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  9. You are a funny girl. Might as well get in on the action. Why should the lawyers get all the cash?

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  10. People will believe anything! Want to lose pounds!? Gotta work hard at it, stuff like exercise; no more sugar, fat, white flour, enriched flour, over-eating, fast food, pizza. Hmm... what's left? Better go buy me some work-out shoes! LOL! (After I have some icecream 'cause I earned it with all this typing, phew.)

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  11. Haaaaaa. What a scam. I do think skechers should be held responsible for their false advertising, though...

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  12. I do believe that Rebok is also busy explaining why it is that their toning shoes do diddly squat as well!
    Jenn

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  13. It seems strange that Kim would be a spokesperson for a fitness product since her ass is the size of a small Buick.

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  14. Bahahaha! I guess we're both suckers! :)

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