Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Human Sling Shot

Welcome to another edition of Wacky Wednesday, the day where I try to bring you folks news of the weird and wacky from around the globe. Today's hot topic comes from Ramsey, Minnesota where a 50 year old dude blindfolded himself, exposed his junk, tied his wrists and ankles to two trees while waiting for anonymous sex near a public park. Oh, and he was even reportedly sitting on a sling.

Lemme tell ya, I have read Fifty Shades of Grey, and just when I thought Christian was fifty shades of fucked up, along comes a real live dude who does something like this and proves that he's even more wacked out than a fictional character. Truth is always stranger than fiction huh? So there's Alan Petrusson's mug shot after he removed his blindfold and hopefully pulled up his pants. I guess the po po replaced the ropes with some cuffs. Wonder how Mr. Petrusson likes metal instead of twine?

Now I can understand being tied up and blindfolded for a night of some kinky action. But puttin' yourself out there in a public place for some stranger to come along and have their way with you is bat shit crazy. Who knows if your partner would be male or female, or is that part of the allure???? However, I do think it was a smart idea that Mr. Petrusson blindfolded himself 'cause ya know he didn't want to look at the ugly skank who took him up on his offer. There just ain't no way that person was gonna be purty. Probably had a face only a Momma could love. But I'm thinkin' this wacko is also one selfish bastard. His hands are tied to a tree so he can't pleasure anybody with his fingers. He's obviously not a giver, and sex is all about give AND take.  Plus, he has really limited himself to the types of sexual positions he will be able to contort his body into being tied between trees in that manner. Some people like to shake things up a bit with a little variety. Just sayin'!! And what if he did all of this preparation and still got rejected? Talk about feeling like a total loser!!! I mean damn, if you hog tied yourself to a tree with your genitals exposed, and still couldn't get laid, you are one sorry mother fuckin' loser!!!!!

My hope for this guy is that some stranger came along and really maximized the whole experience for him. Just when Mr. Petrusson was ready to climax, it would be awesome if the stranger had loosened the ropes, pulled that sling back and sent his crazy ass flyin' through the trees. What a truly orgasmic experience that would have been. Talk about givin' the human sling shot a whole new meaning baby!!!!! His shot of semen would be slingin' through the air more than anyone thought humanly possible!!! WHOO WEE!!!!!!

Full story: Here
Images: Google Images

9 comments:

  1. Damn, a prostitute would have at least blown him.

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  2. He was hoping for a Femdom experience! It's the latest porn fashion where fully clothed women toy with a butt nekkid man and discuss his wiener. Would you join a Femdom posse if you could choose the man you would toy with?

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  3. Holy.Crap. I can't really even get my head around that. At what point are you sitting at home and think "Hey, I know what's super hot! I'm going to get nekkid, tie myself to a tree or two (in a sling) and wait for my Barbie girl/guy to come and get me!" Uh yeah...totally going to happen!

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  4. I love the slingshot!! Gives new meaning to "fly apart for me, baby!!!" LOL!!!

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  5. I'm at a loss for words. What if a stray dog got to him? Clearly he didn't put much thought into this plan.

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  6. I'm really trying to figure out how desperate you would have to be to want any kind of sex with that guy, never mind kinky sex.

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  7. I'd rather die. lol OMG That's a brain malfunction.

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  8. Ok, I don't get this. I just don't get it!!! 50 Shades of fked up is fine...but this doesn't even make sense!!! hahahahaha

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