Wednesday, May 30, 2012

How Do Ya Like Your Face?

Welcome to another addition of Wacky Wednesday folks. Today I have a wacky question for ya? When you go to a restaurant, how do ya like your face prepared? Grilled, sauteed, blackened, broiled or fried? Well, if you are a zombie I guess you like face straight up.

Yeppers, that's how Rudy Eugene liked the face of Ronald Poppo as he chewed it off down in Miami the other day in what witnesses are calling the most gruesome attack they have ever seen. A naked Eugene attacked the homeless Poppo, and after police and witnesses repeatedly yelled at him to get off the man, Eugene just growled at them, baring his teeth with flesh hanging from his mouth. Police were forced to shoot and kill Eugene.

Damn, the zombie apocalypse has definitely arrived folks!!! Apparently all ya gotta do is take some new drug called bath salts and it turns you into a cannibal. And here I thought bath salts were just a little somethin' special I poured into my tub every night to make my skin nice and silky. Guess I better warn my family to batten down the hatches when I go into my bathroom every night for my "Deb time", or else they are gonna end up as my midnight snack. I must say my little Ry Guy has some good meat on his bones so he will be the first one in serious danger!!!! We didn't nickname his legs "hamhocks" for nuthin' ya know. A zombie's gotta love some meat don't ya think??? Uncle Jeffy and my 16 year old are long and lean so I would save them for last. Flesh and bone just don't seem worth the effort.

Now Mr. Eugene did leave Mr. Poppo's goatee in tact, so that tells me zombies don't like hair. Good thing 'cause hair balls just make ya cough and hack all over the place. Plus, both my kids have really cool hair, and when I come outta my bath tub all hyped up on my bath salts ready for my zombie attack, I don't wanna ruin their hair. For once in his life, I'll bet Uncle Jeffy is damn glad he's bald!!!! No danger of zombie Deb chowin' down on his hair. 

Of course I do like some seasonings with my meat. So, unlike Mr. Eugene, I'm gonna keep some garlic salt, pepper and parsley by my bathtub for when I go into zombie mode. Hell, I may go all out and sprinkle some Old Bay on my victims. I've always been known to be a bit hot and spicy!!!!!!

Story: Here

11 comments:

  1. Yes!!! I hope you don't mind me guesting your post on my blog next week or so? Let me know?! I can't wait for this shiz to go down, though I may just stop using the bath salts now. lols. Did you happen to check the link I attached on my twinkie post? There were a lot of other stories on there as well, lol

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  2. Of all the things I thought would launch the zombie apocalypse, I did not see this one coming.

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  3. I heard this story the other day, so bizzare

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  4. Stop! stop! please stop --- i've got tears rolling down my face in hilarious fits of CHUCKLES UPON CHUCKLES ~~~ oH mY gOSH! Your are toooo hysterical! that's the funniest post I've read all day. hahahahahhahahahaha

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  5. ooops, just as I hit "Publish", I remembered I forgot to tell you -- you guessed WRONG on my post. I'll reveal the answer on Friday.... stay tuned, you funny girl.

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  6. I actually heard of someone using bath salts! Wasn't this a drug they created to help keep truck drivers awake at night? Either way, this is the second time I'm hearing about this drug. Holy SHIT!! He was EATING HIS FACE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? I can't..I just can't...

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  7. I hadn't heard anything about this...wow, I just don't know what to say. That's the scariest thing ever--worse than any Stephen King tale because it's real. :-o *shudder*

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  8. Thanks for enlightening me. I'm much smarter now that I read this, and I understand what everyone on twitter was talking about now.

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  9. it sounds as if he had a craving like a pregnant woman. Maybe someone impregnated him up his butt before the attack.

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  10. I had missed this story - until your post of course. Then, all of a sudden this morning there it is in the Canadian news.

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  11. Ugh, I saw this story the other day. Definitely crazy, especially the part about the growling.

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