Hey, it's Wacky Wednesday time again folks. Have you heard of this wacky story about some lady finding a $1 million lottery ticket in a trash can but she now may have to give the prize money back? What the hell???? Somebody needs to go back to first grade and learn that little ol' rhyme, "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers". Uh Huh, that's what I'm talkin' about.
So a woman named Sharon Jones routinely plucked discarded lottery tickets out of trash cans to redeem for secondary prizes. This particular lottery ticket was a scratch off that had been thrown away by another woman named Sharon Duncan after a lottery machine incorrectly told her it was a loser. So Mrs. Jones finds the ticket, cashes it in for the big bucks, and has already spent about $190,000 of the prize money. However, a judge has basically ruled, that Ms. Duncan may have thrown away the paper lottery ticket itself, but she did not throw away her claim to the winnings attached to it. Hogwash!!! That's like going to a yard sale, buying a piece of crap, and finding out later that it's worth a fortune. The people having the sale gave up their rights to the item, and the buyer should reap the benefits. Finders Keepers!
There's Mr. and Mrs. Jones in front of their brand new pick up truck that they bought with some of their lottery winnings. WHOO HOO!!!! I do love me a good ol' pick up!!! Quite practical indeed. The Jones also gave their children a total of $80,000 and gave $10,000 to a cousin whose child has Down's Syndrome. I would open up a can of whoop ass on the person who told me I needed to return all of that money, and my brand spankin' new pick up would be chasin' that sorry bastard around town til he started wavin' the white flag, looked me in the eye and agreed with me, "Finders Keepers".
Seriously folks, you can think of all kinds of examples in your own life where this lesson has come into play. What about the ultra cool toy that was abandoned on the playground that your parents couldn't afford but you JUST couldn't live without? Finders Keepers! Oh and the cute, cuddly stray kitten that had been coming to your backdoor every day for two weeks. Finders Keepers! How about that hot babe in college that some fool set free and became your main squeeze? Finders Keepers! Let's not forget your husband's shiny new platinum Mastercard that was just beggin' to be used when it fell out of his wallet. Finders Keepers! The only thing that falls under this rule that you may find that you definitely don't want to keep is a nasty STD. Yeppers, you in a heap of trouble if you find and keep some herpes.
I guess I must have taught my kids this lesson since they were knee high to a boll weevil. Twelve year old Ry Guy is the luckiest kid in the world when it comes to finding money. He finds coins on the ground all the time, and every now and then he will find a dollar bill, and sometimes even a five spot. You can bet your sweet ass we ain't lookin' for the owners of those lost bills. Those greenbacks go straight into the family funds. Finders Keepers! And my 16 year old son recently applied for a job. On the application they asked if he saw a $20 bill laying on the floor whether or not he would turn it in. He answered no. At first I was horrified, but then he explained that he thought every other applicant would answer "yes" because that is what the company wanted to hear. He said he answered honestly. Hey, the kid got a job interview at the joint so they must have liked his honesty. Atta boy!!! Momma taught you right. Pick up that Andrew Jackson and put it in your pocket son. Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers Baby!!!!!
Image: Here and Google Images