Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Would You Rather?

It's Wacky Wednesday time again folks!!!!! Sure hope you enjoyed Pickleope as my guest blogger the other day. Funny shit lemme tell ya!!!!! I still don't know Pickleope's gender and that is part of the allure, but please pop on over to Pickleope's Blog and check it out for some hilarious, side splitting laughter. 

Today I thought I would engage you in an absolutely absurd  game of Would You Rather? So, put on your thinking caps, get your vomit pails ready just in case, and for God's sake do NOT for one moment think this game is G rated. (That means remove all children under the age of 21 from the room as some material may be sensitive and/or offensive). And heeeeeeeeeeere we go:

1.     Would you rather have sex with a midget or an obese person?

2.     Would you rather poke a flaming stick in your eye or lick a dirty toilet bowl?

3.     Would you rather be sentenced to eternal diarrhea or perpetual vomiting?

4.     Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies DVD or a Barry Manilow CD (assuming you had the capability to watch and/or listen)?   

5.     Would you rather swallow a dozen thumbtacks or cut off your right arm with a rusty saw?

6.     Would you rather find pubic hairs at the bottom of your salad in a restaurant or find live maggots in your Chinese food after you've eaten half of it?

7.      Would you rather have your eyes and ears trade places or have your nose and genitalia trade places?

8.     Would you rather be hung in center square or stoned to death by an angry mob?

9.     Would you rather pop a zit with your mouth or sit on an airplane next to a person with horrendous BO?

And now for the most absurd question of all, which will certainly cause serious nightmares, if not the need for intense therapy:

10.     Would you rather watch porn with your parents or watch porn starring your parents?

Yea, you can thank me for that visual!!!!

Images: Google Images


  1. Ewww, just ewww! On all of this. I can't, no I won't, decide between these horrendous options. It's too early in my day to be this grossed out!

  2. Oh why must you insist on doing this?! Don't you know that I have my own blog - my own savage wit to torment others with? How will I evah complete my little old work with bein thasked with such insightful qhwestions as this? Oh, bother it all let's just get on with it then shall we?

    1. A tricky one right out of the gate. I'd go with obese as you didn't say morbidly obese - or point out one of the persons in the photo, so Christina Hendricks would fit the bill nicely here. Oh baby, please come hither with those curves.

    2. Dirty toilet bowl please. I could wash it all away with tequila. The flaming stick, well not so much. Although I like the idea of an eye patch. Might be attractive to some women. Especially pirate chicks.

    3. At least you didn't say "or both". Don't know how that would work anyway since you probably need to be bringing something into the house before you send it back out the door again. Vomiting I guess. Right.

    4. A Barry Manilow CD of course. I could use it as a signal mirror or something survivalish. Richard Simmons. Don't know what I'd use him for. Boy Friday? Not so much.

    5. Thumbtacks silly. Need that arm for writing and the worst might be a quick trip to the ER (read; cute nurses - he likes)

    6. Oh tough one. I'm going for the maggots here as you said half eaten so I assume I didn't actually eat the little critters. Was it a good salad anyway?

    7. Another gotcha. Hmmm, either one could give me a sore neck but seeing as I do admire, ahem, the "art of oral lovin on ladies" (yes, yes the nose is important for enjoyment too) then I'll just take the old eyes and ears switcheroo.

    8. Right, I think about this one quite often in fact. Definitely the stoning as you see I do most assuredly have a "gift of the gab" and I could at least make some saucy comments to the crowd as they kill me. They might enjoy that as they murder me.

    9. Damn, I think I'd just do the zit and pretend it never happened. The horrendous body odor might stay with me and when I was about to draw my last breath and say something truly profound on my death bed it might flashback on me and I'd only whimper briefly and then die.

    10. Probably with me as I could always make some ice breaking, relaxing and nutty comments during the "viewing". Kind of like "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" but with porn. Carnal Happenings Theatre 69 maybe.

    11. What nothing else?! I was just getting warmed up madam. Damn, back to work I guess. Sure there's nothing else?

    1. OMG Blue Orchid you are AMAZING!!!!!!!! You officially receive the award for the wittiest, most thought provoking comment EVAH!!!!!!!

  3. 1. Midget, more choices.
    2. Toilet bowl, but it's close.
    3. Diarhea... Because nobody else would hear me
    4. Manilow CD only torturous to the ears,the eyes canbe looking at the beach
    5. Thumbtacks, but only after I mashed the point down flat.
    6. Pubic hair, which I'd promptly lose to eternal diarrhea as opposed to the maggots that would hang out.
    7. Seriously! You're jacked up and people staring at you anyway. Do I pee out of my face or my nose?
    8. Dead either way... At least once they'd know I was well hung...
    9. Is it my zit? Where is the zit? I think I might pick BO because I can sleep on most flights.
    10. With... I'm not even thinking twice... My parents don't have sex, well except for those two times. They don't pee either.


  4. haha I'm staying out of this one!

  5. 1 Midget - they can still find it.

    2 Lick a toilet bowl - there's always Listerine, but not another eye.

    3 Perpetual vomiting - at least you could move around and not shit yourself.

    4 Richard Simmons - I'll take goofy creepy over I think I'm sexy creepy any day.

    5 A dozen thumbtacks - it could turn out okay - maybe.

    6 Sorry I'm gagging on either. Surprise me.

    7 Definitely nose and genitalia - as long as everyone else switched too. "my how big your nose is" would be a compliment.

    8 Hung in center square - so not into pain.

    9 The zit will be done and over - the BO molecules might get stuck in your nose and you'd be smelling that stank for at least a day after.

    10 With - It'd be no different than watching my mother analyze which Playboy model had a boob job.

  6. 1. Gawd midgets make me want to choke. I don't know why they freak me out.
    2. Please let it be my dirty toilet bowl and not this one I refused to use at a gas station once.
    3. I really hate puking, unless Im terribly drunk then it makes it so much better, am I terribly drunk?!
    4. I'll take Simmons, he amuses me :)
    5. Taking those tacks liek a champ, I needs me arm!
    6. Maggots def!
    7. Eyes and ears. The other just seems strange to think about!
    8. Hang me in center square yo! Those ethings go a lot faster and if they do it right, I shouldn't feel a thang!
    9. ewww BO is awful!!!
    10. My parents don't have sex :)